Kendrick Lamar Is The King Of The 2016 Grammy Nominations (And Oh Yeah, Swifty Got A Few Too)

December 7, 2015 / Posted by:

Adele’s new album (aka the only album that matters in the world) and single came out after the deadline for Grammy nominations (September 30, 2015), so she didn’t get not a one nomination this morning. I’m surprised the Grammy bitches didn’t start a new category, Best New Masterpiece Album By Adele That Missed The Deadline But Deserves All Of The Awards Anyway, just for her ass this year. Adele’s Grammy year is next year. The good news is that the 2017 Grammys will be 5 minutes long instead of 500 hours long. The 5-minute-long ceremony will be nothing but shots of workers with wheelbarrows dumping dozens of Grammys onto Adele’s front yard.

This year, Kendrick Lamar is the overlord of the Grammy nominations with 11, including Album of the Year for “To Pimp A Butterfly” (which sounds like the title of a hooker movie starring Mariah Carey). The Weeknd and Taylor Swift got the second most nominations with 7. My thoughts are with the people around Tay Tay who nearly broke every muscle and nerve in their eyeballs while resisting the urge to bust out an eye roll as the nominations came out and she screamed, “Oh my golly gee, this NEVER happens to little ole’ me!

While looking at the nominations this morning, I had to stop and run my fingers over to after I got to Best New Artist. I had to check to see if the definition of “new” changed, because Meghan Trainor was nominated for Best New Artist. But it turns out that “All About That Bass” only came out last year and her album came out this year. It just feels like her music has been terrorizing our eardrums for centuries.

All of the Grammy nominations are here. I threw up a lot of them after the cut. My comment about the nominations in each category is: Call the police, the FBI, President Obama and Detective La Toya, because  Glorianna Galicia was wrongly robbed!

Album of the Year
Alabama Shakes, Sound and Color
Kendrick Lamar, To Pimp a Butterfly
Chris Stapleton, Traveller
Taylor Swift, 1989
The Weeknd, Beauty Behind the Madness

Song of the Year
Kendrick Lamar, “Alright
Taylor Swift, “Blank Space”
Little Big Town, “Girl Crush”
Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth, “See You Again
Ed Sheeran, “Thinking Out Loud

Record of the Year
D’Angelo and the Vanguard, “Really Love
Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars, “Uptown Funk
Ed Sheeran, “Thinking Out Loud
Taylor Swift, “Blank Space”
The Weeknd, “Can’t Feel My Face

Best New Artist
Courtney Barnett
James Bay
Sam Hunt
Tori Kelly
Meghan Trainor

Best Pop Solo Performance
Kelly Clarkson, “Heartbeat Song
Ellie Goulding, “Love Me Like You Do”
Ed Sheeran, “Thinking Out Loud”
Taylor Swift, “Blank Space
The Weeknd, “Can’t Feel My Face”

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
Florence + the Machine, “Ship to Wreck”
Maroon 5, “Sugar
Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars, “Uptown Funk
Taylor Swift feat. Kendrick Lamar, “Bad Blood
Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth, “See You Again”

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Tony Bennett & Bill Charlap, The Silver Lining: The Songs of Jerome Kern
Bob Dylan, Shadows in the Night
Josh Groban, Stages
Seth MacFarlane, No One Ever Tells You
Barry Manilow (& Various Artists), My Dream Duets

Best Pop Vocal Album
Kelly Clarkson, Piece By Piece
Florence + the Machine, How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful
Mark Ronson, Uptown Special
Taylor Swift, 1989
James Taylor, Before This World

Best Dance Recording
Above & Beyond feat. Zoë Johnston, “We’re All We Need”
The Chemical Brothers, “Go
Flying Lotus feat. Kendrick Lamar, “Never Catch Me
Galantis, “Runaway (U & I)
Skrillex and Diplo With Justin Bieber, “Where Are Ü Now

Best Dance/Electronic Album
Caribou, Our Love
The Chemical Brothers, Born in the Echoes
Disclosure, Caracal
Jamie xx, In Colour
Skrillex and Diplo, Skrillex and Diplo Present Jack Ü

Best Rap Performance
J. Cole, “Apparently
Drake, “Back to Back
Fetty Wap, “Trap Queen
Kendrick Lamar, “Alright
Nicki Minaj feat. Drake and Lil Wayne, “Truffle Butter
Kanye West feat. Theophlius London, Allan Kingdom, and Paul McCartney, “All Day

Best Rap Song
Kanye West, “All Day
Kendrick Lamar, “Alright
Drake, “Energy
Common and John Legend, “Glory
Fetty Wap, “Trap Queen

Best Rap Album
J. Cole, 2014 Forest Hills Drive
Dr. Dre, Compton
Drake, If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late
Kendrick Lamar, To Pimp A Butterfly
Nicki Minaj, The Pinkprint

Best Country Solo Performance
Cam, “Burning House”
Chris Stapleton, “Traveller
Carrie Underwood, “Little Toy Guns
Keith Urban, “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16”
Lee Ann Womack, “Chances Are

Best Country Song
Lee Ann Womack, “Chances Are
Tim McGraw, “Diamond Rings And Old Barstools
Little Big Town, “Girl Crush
Brandy Clark, “Hold My Hand”
Chris Stapleton, “Traveller

Best Country Album
Sam Hunt, Montevallo
Little Big Town, Pain Killer
Ashley Monroe, The Blade
Kacey Musgraves, Pageant Material
Chris Stapleton, Traveller

Best Rock Performance
Alabama Shakes, “Don’t Wanna Fight”
Florence + the Machine, “What Kind of Man
Foo Fighters, “Something From Nothing”
Elle King, “Ex’s & Oh’s
Wolf Alice, “Mona Lisa Smile

Best Rock Song
Alabama Shakes, “Don’t Wanna Fight
Elle King, “Ex’s & Oh’s
James Bay, “Hold Back the River
Highly Suspect, “Lydia
Florence + the Machine, “What Kind of Man

Best Rock Album
James Bay, Chaos and the Calm
Death Cab for Cutie, Kintsugi
Highly Suspect, Mister Asylum
Muse, Drones
Slipknot, The Gray Chapter

Best Alternative Music Album
Alabama Shakes, Sound & Color
Björk, Vulnicura
My Morning Jacket, The Waterfall
Tame Impala, Currents
Wilco, Star Wars

Best R&B Performance
Tamar Braxton, “If I Don’t Have You”
Andra Day, “Rise Up”
Hiatus Kaiyote, “Breathing Underwater
Jeremih feat. J. Cole, “Planes”
The Weeknd, “Earned It”

Best R&B Song
Miguel, “Coffee
The Weeknd, “Earned It
Jazmine Sullivan, “Let It Burn
D’Angelo, “Really Love
Tyrese, “Shame

Best Urban Contemporary Album
The Internet, Ego Death
Kehlani, You Should Be Here
Lianne La Havas, Blood
Miguel, Wildheart
The Weeknd, Beauty Behind The Madness

Best R&B Album
Leon Bridges, Coming Home
D’Angelo And the Vanguard, Black Messiah
Andra Day, Cheers to the Fall
Jazmine Sullivan, Reality Show
Charlie Wilson, Forever Charlie

Best Musical Theater Album
An American In Paris
Fun Home
The King And I
Something Rotten!

Best Spoken Word Album
Patti Smith, Blood on Snow (Jo Nesbø)
Dick Cavett, Brief Encounters: Conversations, Magic Moments, And Assorted Hijinks
Jimmy Carter, A Full Life: Reflections at Ninety
Janis Ian & Jean Smart, Patience And Sarah (Isabel Miller)
Amy Poehler, Yes Please

Best Comedy Album
Lisa Lampanelli, Back To The Drawing Board
Wyatt Cenac, Brooklyn
Jay Mohr, Happy. And A Lot.
Craig Ferguson, Just Being Honest
Louis C.K., Live at Madison Square Garden


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