“Sorry Taylor! Oh who am I kidding, I’m not sorry. Hahahahahah!!”
Adele’s latest album of sad drinking-wine-in-the-bathtub ballads, 25, is on its way to going triple tinfoil (or whatever is higher than platinum), and apparently it’s crushing a whole mess of records on its way there. We already know that 25 is the best-selling album of 2015 and that it took down NSYNC’s 15-year reign as the single week sales record holder. At the time, Billboard figured Adele’s 2,433,000 in pure album sales would go up about 500,000 higher, but according to Variety that number is closer to a million.
25 has now sold 3.48 million copies since it was released on November 20th. 25 also now holds the record for the first album to sell a million copies in two different weeks. Fast forward to next week, and I’m sure we’ll be writing the words “25 is now the first album to sell one million copies in three different weeks“. And then it will go on to be the first album chosen as a national anthem (yes the whole album) before being placed in a rocket with the words “YOU’RE WELCOME – EARTH” spray painted on the outside and shot into space by NASA. At which point, it will start breaking records on the music charts of every other planet in our solar system.
And then hipster aliens from a far away planet who only listen to underground stuff from Pluto will hear 25, get just as obsessed with Adele as we have, and shoot it to the top of the charts of Blorg 6. Adele’s emotional power balads know no galactic limits!