Not pictured: Volunteers from UNICEF who are standing by with jugs and waiting for Salma Hayek’s suffocating tits to explode so they can collect her miracle chichi leche and feed it to dozens of starving orphans.
Last night in London, Salma Hayek went to something called The Evening Standard Theatre Awards and I bet that the people who went to that event couldn’t even tell you who won awards or what happened. The only thing they remember is Salma Hayek’s squeezed honeydew titty sacks. Salma Hayek’s magnificent chichis will make a ho forget everything.
Thanks to that ugly clown collar, Salma’s tits look like two face-less babies in bonnets sleeping next to each other. They also look like overfilled water balloons lying on a table and the next time I’m at a family party and see overfilled water balloons lying on a table, I’ll have to resist the urge to motorboat them.
And here’s more pictures of Salma Hayek’s TITS as well as pictures of Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman, Kate Beckinsale and Ralph Fine-ass looking like the most charming flasher ever.