You know, I was really hoping that break-up Gwen Stefani would really show out and hit the American Music Awards red carpet in nothing but nipples pasties, a pussy patch, exquisite Lucite heels and the words “Fuck That Cheating Slut Gavin Rossdale” scribbled onto her body in glitter marker. But instead of doing that, Gwen disappointed us all by showing up looking like a rejected Valley of the Dolls extra who got tangled up in the curtains while working a day shift at a goth-themed whore house. This is not the “I’M SINGLE NOW” outfit I was hoping she’d wear.
Warning: This is what happens when you bone Blake Shelton regularly. You dress like Kanye West styled you. This is like the look-for-less version of Barbra Streisand’s 1960s Oscar ensemble.
Gwen also performed her new song Used To Love You and she traded in her “fembot at a funeral” look for “albino predator caught in a fishnet.”
I said in my first sentence that I wish Gwen would’ve slapped Gavin down with her outfit, but I think she did that in her performance. I don’t know sign language, but I’m pretty sure the interpretive background dancers are signing the words,“Eat shit Gavin Rossdale,” with their bodies.