For those of you looking at the potato quality picture above and thinking: “For why is some random dude singing to Selena Gomez and two of the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty in a fancy-ass bar?“, well, you got the Selena Gomez part right, but you missed the spoiled Timbit sitting next to her. Don’t beat yourself up over it; Justin Bieber totally blends into the background when he’s not throwing chairs around.
As you can see from the picture above, dickmatization’s former poster children Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber got together, and no, it wasn’t because Selena found a bunch of footy pajamas at her house and decided to return them to their rightful owner. Justin and Selena were caught hanging out at a hotel bar in Beverly Hills last night. And if that wasn’t enough to make you roll your eyes and reach for your “She don’t love herself” GIFs, then there’s also this little nugget of NO: Justin grabbed a mic and busted out a middle school talent show-sounding version “My Girl” to her. Which looked and sounded a little something like this.
No word on how many people in the bar were rushed to the hospital and treated for cringe-uries caused by second-hand embarrassment, but I’m going to assume the answer is: all of them. Neither Justin nor Selena has commented on whether or not they’re humping on each other again, so who even knows how permanent this shit is.
But he didn’t end the night with Selena, because apparently “My Girl” was short for “My Girl…Until Someone Hotter Comes Along“. Shortly after he made Thomas J. roll over in his grave, Justin Bieber hit up a club with Kylie Jenner. Which…also didn’t last very long, since Kylie left the club with Iggy Azalea’s former piece, ASAP Rocky. Yes, Kim Jr. has been single for all of 0.03 seconds, and already she might have a new man. A man who is a whole year older than Tyga. That sound you just heard was Kris Jenner cackling with glee into her morning bowl of spiders.