Proof That Everlasting Love Is A Lie: Kylie Jenner And Tyga Broke Up

November 20, 2015 / Posted by:

(Note: You may be thinking that Kylie Jenner’s leg scar is from where Pimp Mama Kris removed her soul and shoved in a giant plastic ass during her koming-of-age ritual, and you’re probably right, but she says it’s from a childhood accident.)

It’s a sad week for ick nast creeps. Jared Fogle found out he’s going to prison for at least 13 years and now Tyga has been dumped by the only reason why most of us know that he exists. Tyga is probably going to have to change the lyrics in that barf-inducing song of his from “she a big girl, dawg, when she stimulated” to “she a big girl, dawg, when she dumps my ass,” because E! says that Wite Chyna and the human turtle queef have broken up after being a thing for a year.

Tyga threw himself a 26th birthday party at some club last night and his Kim K klone piece wasn’t there and it wasn’t because her underage ass couldn’t get in. Pimp Mama Kris, I mean, a source, tells E! that they’re on a break. Don’t worry, parents, you don’t have to hide your teen daughters just yet, because Tyga is not on the prowl for a new girlfriend right now.

“They are on a break. They were just a week or so ago talking about ‘ever after’ and things got messy this past week. Kylie wants time to just be by her self and do her. Tyga is not giving up as that’s his one and only lady.”

But another source (PMK’s cell phone was really busy today) tells TMZ that Kylie dumped Tyga because of something he did and “pressure” from her family. Hmm… I wonder what that something is? Here are a few guesses:

1. Tyga told Kylie Jenner she looked prettier without 46 pounds of paint slapped onto her face.

2. The something he didn’t do is make more money and he got outbid by a richer dude PMK found.

3. This is all just another PMK-produced stunt and is setting the stage for Tyga leaking a sex tape as an act of revenge.

Whatever the case may be, I just want to know (no, I don’t) who is getting kustody of their $40,000 dog?! We already know she’s getting custody of the lease payments on the Ferrari her gave her for her birthday.

Pics: Getty, Splash

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >