I brought this up during the Ben Affleck and his Fatal Attraction ass nanny ESCANDALO. One of my favorite parts of Mo’Nique’s set in Queens of Comedy is when she goes on about how she hired a housekeeper when she got some money and she specifically wanted to hire a housekeeper who had teeth like a hillbilly meth head, a body like a grapefruit and hair like a dying Chia Pet. Mo’Nique basically wanted to hand Sloth from Goonies a feather duster and hire him as her housekeeper, because she didn’t want her then-husband to get any ideas.
Well, Mo’Nique’s philosophy on that shit has changed. Since then, Mo’Nique married a new dude, Sidney Hicks, and has talked before about how she’s not going to immediately call the Divorce Lawyer Queen of Hollywood Laura Wasser if she found out her man’s dick made its way into another trick’s poon. Mo’Nique talked about it again with TrueExclusives.com (via E!) and said that her husband has a “free pass to cheat” as long as he says to her, “Listen, my dick is like a canary and it’s feeling a little caged in, so it wants to fly into another pussy for just one night, or maybe two, okay?”
“The person that you stood up and you said ‘for better, for worse, sickness and in health, richer or poorer’ you took those vows in front of the universe. If you don’t live by them, then maybe you shouldn’t have taken them. And when you say ‘a pass to cheat’… see when you’re with your best friend and you say to your best friend ‘I’m having these feelings about this person, sexually and I wanna share it with you’.. when you’re best friends, you can have those open and honest conversations.
Often times people cheat because of something they’re not getting. But when you have open and honest dialogue and you say we’re just human beings and all these people on the face of the earth, do you think my eyes won’t ever say ‘he’s fine’ or ‘she’s attractive’. Now if you wanna go further with it, let’s be honest enough to have those conversations. What is it about that person that you find that you wanna sleep with? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do. And if that’s the case, how can I be mad? Because I’m not gon’ do it. Should I deprive you of not having it? That’s when the relationship is real real.”
Gavin Rossdale and Ben Affleck just fell the hell in love.
Should it really be called a “pass to cheat” if they’re being honest about it? Shouldn’t it be called a “pass to new ass” since it’s not really cheating? But I have a question about that pass. Is it a one time thing? Like a coupon you can only use once? Or is it like a punch card and when her husband gets to 10 punches, she says, “Congrats, you win a divorce!” These are the questions I have.
Oh and by “they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do,” she means “ass to mouth,” right?