Jennifer Lawrence’s Falls Aren’t An Act, So Says Jennifer Lawrence

November 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Many of us cynical old whores believe that Jennifer Lawrence’s graceful “Cinderella at the ball” fall at the Oscars was created with help from 3 publicists, a team of choreographers, a pair of knee pads and a stage fight coach. Many of us SWEAR we could see Jennifer Lawrence mouthing to herself, “…And 1…2..3…FALL.Miss Pissy Hands fell again the next year at the Oscars and last week, she tripped again. I’ve been waiting for JLaw to dye her hair Lucille Ball ginger and marry a Cuban dude since she’s obviously the new Wacky Slapstick Queen of Hollywood! But Jennifer Lawrence was on The Tonight Show last night and she told fellow clumsy bitch Jimmy Fallon that her falls are organic and real and she doesn’t like to talk about them, because she doesn’t want anyone to think she’s faking that shit. That is so something a STUNT QUEEN who fakes her falls would say!

JLaw told Jimmy that her klutzy ass tripped while on another show and she asked them to cut that part out, because it’s not a schtick and she’s tired of people thinking that. She then told Jimmy a couple stories she says are way more embarrassing than falling. One time she got into a conversation with a lady at a party and she thought the lady was Elizabeth Taylor. This was long after Elizabeth Taylor went up to the great big white diamond in the sky. Another time, she says she met Francis Ford Coppola and she didn’t know her dress was unzipped so he got a live shot of her nalgas in a thong. Here’s JLaw telling those stories and get ready to say, “Oh, that JLaw!“, a lot.

It’s amazing that Jennifer Lawrence and Jimmy Fallon were in the same space together and lived to tell the tale. I kept waiting for an anvil to fall on one of their heads.

I will forever believe that Jennifer Lawrence’s “falls” and “oopsies” are choreographed in a studio in the San Fernando Valley somewhere, but now I know that she’s also a stoner who can’t handle her shit. Lightweight mess. You’d have to be stoned into another world to mistake anyone for the real Elizabeth Taylor. Besides, everyone knows that one of the first things you say when you meet Elizabeth Taylor is, “Not so fast, Tom Ryan,” and anybody but the real La Liz would respond with, “The hell is your drunk ass talking about?

Here’s Jennifer Lawrence wearing a lingerie dress from Hot Topic’s capsule collection for Frederick’s of Hollywood at the NYC premiere of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 last night.


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