Ever since classic diss track “You’re So Vain” came out in 1972, hos have been guessing who the song is about and Carly Simon has always played it pretty coy. I’m surprised there was never a 70s game show called This Song Is About Who? where contestants tried to guess who that damn song was about. Over the decades, people have guessed that the song was about Warren Beatty, David Cassidy, David Bowie, Cat Stevens or Mick Jagger. Five years ago, The Sun spit up evidence that the song is about David Geffen. Carly has only said that it’s about three dudes, but now that she’s got her memoirs Boys In The Trees to promote, she’s spilling a name.
In news that is about as shocking as me having saltine cracker nachos for lunch, Carly tells People that Warren thinks the entire song is about him, but only the second verse was inspired by him doing her dirty (and not in a sexy way). This is how the second verse goes:
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.
The real news is that she sings “clouds in my coffee.” I thought it was “clowns in my coffee” for the longest time and figured she was snorting LSD-laced Cremora in the morning.
Carly is sewing her lips shut when it comes to saying who the other two are. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s David Geffen and Betty White. It’s always Betty White.) When asked if she’ll ever say who the other two are, she said, “I don’t think so, at least until they know it’s about them.”
I can already picture my mom rolling her eyes while saying, “Excuse me while I pass out from shock,” after hearing this news. We’ll all do the same thing in 40 years when Taylor Swift is peddling her memoirs and tells us that “Bad Blood” is about Katy Perry. I’m saving a special string of clutching pearls for that occasion.