A Mean Girl Blind Item Presented To You By Bella Thorne

November 18, 2015 / Posted by:

18-year-old actress Bella Thorne (whose name sounds like a generic brand of poison you buy when you can’t find Belladonna) told Seventeen Magazine a little blind item about a Regina George in her circle who is such a mean-faced corroded bitch that she doesn’t even say “hello” to that ice cold asshole demon when they run into each other. Like, when they’re both in the, like, cafeteria at the same time and Bella’s rival walks by her table, she doesn’t even, like, acknowledge that bitch’s existence. That’s how much Bella hates her and that’s how mean that mean girl is. Bella wouldn’t name names, but she dropped hints. I’m sure that The National Enquirer has put together an entire investigative team that will spend the next 18 months uncovering who the thorn in Thorne’s side is.

Here’s what Bella Thorne said about this mean girl:

“I have a mean girl. She’s in the business, and she’s very, very mean. I stay away from her at all costs. I never say hello to her. Her siblings are not mean like she is. It’s just her. One of the reasons I don’t like her is because she’s been a billionaire since she was very little, and she’s never had to work for anything in her life.”

The clues are: She’s in the business, she grew up with a diamond-encrusted platinum spoon in her mouth, she’s never known real struggle and her siblings didn’t inherit the cunty gene like she did.

My brain went to Kendall and Kylie Jenner right away, because DUH. But Bella tweeted that it’s not them and now that I think about it, they don’t make sense. They worked really, really hard for their “fame” and all of their siblings are soul-sucking succubuses.

My second guess was Emma Roberts, because she’s apparently a monster. I heard that she didn’t act at all in Scream Queens and AHS: Coven. The directors just followed her around with a camera and recorded her naturally treating her co-workers like shit.

I didn’t have a third guess so I typed “teenage billionaire actress Hollywood” in Google Images and the first ones to come up were Chloe Grace Moretz, Elle Fanning, that Justice girl from Nickelodeon, Ariana Grande Latte, Bella Thorne (PLOT TWIST!) and Nicola Peltz from the last Transformers shit show. Nicola Peltz makes the most sense since her dad is an actual billionaire.

Or it’s Betty White. It usually is and if it is, Bella Thorne deserves it.

Since you don’t care about seeing pictures of Bella Thorne in Seventeen, here’s pictures of her 23-year-old piece Gregg Sulkin and his peen print in Flaunt Magazine.

Pics: Seventeen, Flaunt

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