Kendall Jenner walked in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show yesterday, because a dried alfalfa sprout wasn’t available and because the powers-that-be figure that at least a tenth of her 41 million Instagram followers aren’t bots and will watch when it airs next month. Kendall and fellow rich kid turned ~high fashun~ model Gigi Hadid both made their VS Fashion Show debuts and you’d think that the entire koven would be in the front row since lots and lots of cameras were present. But Kendall told the NYDN that only Caitlyn Jenner and Pimp Mama Kris (and Tyga, who was there for some reason) were allowed to come and her sisters were told to keep their rubber asses away.
“I told them all to stay away. It was too much pressure and I was like, ‘Mom and Dad are good enough.’ I just need the pressure off. There’s enough pressure as it is.”
You can laugh at Kendall saying “pressure” three times about walking and smiling while wearing lingerie, but “walking and smiling while wearing lingerie” is the most work any Kartrashian trick has ever done and that definitely makes her the most accomplished one. But I get what Kendull is saying. I mean, she already had to deal with PMK screaming, “YAAAASSS! Smile those twat lips real wide for the cameras, bitch,” from the front row and imagine if the other plastic wrecks were there too. Half of them would’ve tried to get all the attention by showing up in nothing but a dangly anus ring and rhinestone pasties. And as soon as Khloe Kartrashian spotted feathers on a model, her animal hunting instincts would’ve kicked in and she would’ve leaped onto the catwalk and bit that poor woman. Nobody wants to see some Planet Earth shit at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. So yeah, Kendall made a good kall.
And here’s a million pictures from the VS show, which was equal parts “costumes in a Woodstock porn parody” and “costumes in a Burning Man-themed floor show at the least popular casino in Reno.”