Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 11, 2015 / Posted by:

Cupcake “champagne“!

I know I’m three days late and three dollars short with this. I was going to make this HSOTD on Monday, but then Jesus and Ben Carson’s beautiful “Ashford and Simpson-likepainting came along. Then I was going to make it HSOTD yesterday, but Le Shovel Dude slid onto the scene in man panties. But now is finally the time to pay homage to the breakout star of Sunday’s season premiere episode of the Real Housewrecks of Atlanta!

Pinto Porsha Williams got a luxurious hotel suite for her and her (then) man Duke Williams (no relation, I think) to have an opulent and romantic night in. Porsha surprised him with some strawberries dipped in chocolate, because she is a refined swan and definitely knows the finer things in life. Which is why, none of us should’ve been shocked that she ordered the hotel’s “best” champagne, because she and her man deserve nothing but the fanciest shit money can buy. When she pulled out the “champagne,” Porsha said she’s never heard of that brand before and then the camera showed she was holding a bottle of fucking Cupcake!

hsotdcupcakeprosecco

First of all, Cupcake isn’t champagne. It’s sparkling wine. Second of all, when I ask my butler (aka my dog) to fetch me the best bottle of champagne (aka sparkling wine) from the cellar (aka my refrigerator), he stares at me blankly and so I have to get it myself and I grab a bottle of Cupcake! (Okay, I’d really grab a bottle of Andre sweet red, but Cupcake works better for this story.) That crap is like $11 at Target.

Porsha drives a Rolls Royce or some other kind of Richie Rich car and her purses probably cost ten times more than what my internal organs would get on the black market, and yet this mess stays at a hotel whose finest “champagne” is Cupcake! Either this is some product placement shit or that hotel told her it was pronounced “Cup-uh-kay” and charged her $500 for it. Her dumbass would fall for it too. I bet that later that night, she asked Jeeves to send up some of their finest cheese and caviar, and they sent up Kraft slices and a StarKist Lunch-To-Go.

Pic: Marketing Noire, Cupcake

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