Khlozilla’s Face And Ass Are Plastic-Free, So Says Khlozilla

November 10, 2015 / Posted by:

If you checked inside of Khloe Kartrashian’s veins, you’d probably find nothing but silicone, fillers and extra chunky flecks of LIES flowing through them. Khloe has said before that she stays looking like a plastic Muppet dipped in metallic paint thanks to squats and makeup contouring. Khloe has stepped away from filming the upcoming 36-part E! docu-series Khloe Saves Lamar to pimp out her new book Strong Looks Better Naked and she is once again howling about how not even an ounce of filler has filled her mug and how her Butterball turkey ass is cage and hormone-free.

On her app (via Hollywood Life), Khloe wrote that she’s never had plastic surgery or gotten fillers, but she does get laser treatments all the time. This is the stream of fairy tales that Khloe spit out. She forgot to say that one day while she was trying to get honeycomb from a tree, a bunch of bees attacked her mouth and that’s why her lips look like that.

“I don’t need work on my face just yet because I have an amazing makeup team. Their contour game is so on point that I feel like I get a nose job every single day — and I love it! I’m going to get fillers eventually — that’s the procedure I want to do when it’s time — but I don’t think I have wrinkles right at this moment. When I do get fillers, I want some normalcy to my face because you are supposed to have expressions! You better believe when the time comes, though, I’ll be the first to say, ‘Let’s film this shit!’ Bring the cameras out because I want to document it! Hello … live stream, people!!! Haha!”

Khloe’s facial expression philosophy is obviously different than Kim Kartrashian’s. Because Kim believes you should only have one facial expression and that one facial expression should be “alien in an open-eyed coma.

Khloe also mouth farted to Redbook about how she loves it when the tabloids say that she got the Kim K special on her ass:

“Once you start getting in the tabloids claiming you have fake body parts, then it’s like, ‘Okay, I made it. Now I’m really working out. Kourtney said yesterday, ‘I got so happy because someone said I had butt implants.’ And I was like, ‘Doesn’t it make you feel good?’ She’s like, ‘I really feel good. I’ve got to keep it up!'”

FYI: This is the ass that “squats” built.



A Kardashian saying, “I am plastic-free,” is like a Duggar saying, “I don’t want children.” Being plastic-free goes against all of Pimp Mama Kris’ beliefs and if Khloe was truly all-organic, we’d know it, because she’d be banished to the dungeon where Rob Kardashian is. PMK would never even let Khloe sit next to her at a dining table if she didn’t smell like a mixture of burnt plastic and new car. “What’s that disgusting smell? Khloe, you smell human! I can’t even enjoy my dinner of Lucifer’s blood with you smelling like that! Do something about it” is what PMK would scream at her.

Here’s 100% knatural Khloe at a book signing in L.A. yesterday.

Pics: Splash, Getty, FayesVision/

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