Giada De Laurentiis Doesn’t Want To Be Bobby Flay’s Full-Time Chorizo Wrangler

November 8, 2015 / Posted by:

Because the first rule of the internet is: “If you think it exists, it does“, there’s no doubt in my mind that there’s definitely some Food Network fanfic out there starring toothy par-meeeeee-ganno hustler Giada de Laurentiis and alleged cheater chef Bobby Flay. With that being said, I’m sure if I look hard enough I could rustle up some barf-making fanfic featuring the jacked plank-roasted salmon filet that is Robert Irvine and the sloppy dirtbag who hosts Chopped Canada, but I love my gag reflex too much to do that, so I won’t (but, you know, you have my email address, so….).

What I’m trying to get at here is that those fanfic stories of Giada rolling her Rs against Bobby’s fire-grilled chorizo will only ever stay stories. Giada recently admitted during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live (via Page Six) that she would never date Bobby Flay. Andy Cohen claims there are people out there who want to see the hosts of The Next Food Network Star get together, and the timing is right, since they both dumped their decade-long marriages in the trash within five months of each other. But it’s not going to happen. Why? Because Giada is too smart for that shit, apparently.

“We’re very good friends, we’ve worked for many years together. But I don’t think that’s ever going to happen, because I’m smarter than that.”

Giada then explained that she’d never date another chef, because she “knows better.” She added:

“I’m one of them. I know better.”

I’ve never been a chef or dated a chef, so I have no idea what she means by that. Is it a common stereotype that chefs are a bunch of low-down dirty slutbags who will “generously season” anything that moves? Is every chef like that? Good lord, I hope not; it’s too early in the EVER to picture a horny Mario Batali hanging an orange Croc on the doorknob of a walk-in fridge.


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