Things I Didn’t Need To Know: Michael Fassbender Once Gave A Horse A Boner

November 7, 2015 / Posted by:

I’m sure there’s more than a few people who just shouted “…and if that horse doesn’t want it, I’ll take it!” at their computer screens.

So for those of you who have ever wondered if Michael Fassbender has a story about a horse that got a boner whenever he rode it, well – here you go. Michael Fassbender┬árecently admitted during an appearance on The Graham Norton Show that he became all too familiar with horse dicks while filming Jane Eyre back in 2011. And no, it’s not because the walls of his trailer were covered in mirrors (that’s a joke about Michael Fassbender’s giant penis, in case I was being too subtle).

According to Michael Fassbender, Prince (his horsie co-star) used to get a horsie erection every time Michael Fassbender climbed on his back. So Prince’s handler, a guy named Dan, would switch places with Fassbender and trot him around until his boner went down. I guess that’s the horse version of picturing Tan Mom naked? But Michael doesn’t just talk about horse boners; he also does some horse boner charades and uses his arm to show what Prince’s penis did when Michael Fassbender mounted him. And that, my friends, is how a GIF is born. You can watch it all below.

I don’t know much about horse dicks (save for what I know about Trace Cyrus), but I doubt Prince was getting horny every time he got an accidental back massage courtesy of Michael Fassbender’s bulge. Horses aren’t dumb; I’m sure they’ve heard the stories about Michael Fassbender’s extra-beefy pants pony. Prince was probably just whipping his horse wang out for a friendly game of “Who’s bigger?“. I’m sure if Michael Fassbender spoke horse, he’d know that Prince’s neighs were his way of saying “Okay, but for real, don’t judge me too hard – it’s pretty cold out here.”

Pic: Universal

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