The international Brangeloonie holiday known as Brangemas continues and at WSJ Magazine’s Innovator Awards in NYC last night, Dame St. Angie Jolie did a spot-on impersonation of an oily breadstick wrapped in a black napkin and Brad Pitt did a very good impersonation of a constipated and badly made John F. Kennedy wax figure.
Black had a slight panic attack the other night when St. Morticia Jolie showed up to an event with an actual color on her body, but it can stop deep breathing into a black paper bag, because last night she and Brad Pitt once again served up funeral home gloominess. In a few of the pictures of Brad, he looks a little pained in the face, so either he’s got the farts in a bad way or the Botox is having a hard time settling or St. Angie made the child army bathe him and the unfamiliar scent of soap is weirding him out.
St. Angie also did an interview with WSJ where she talked more about her humanitarian stuff and making By The Pretentious Sea with her husband. She also told a highly riveting story about how they bought a bunch of hamsters in Malta and brought them back to the US. And I’m sure the Satanic chipmunk who tried to bite her saintly finger off is now rotting in Lucifer’s asshole in HELL.
Equally comical is the image of Jolie Pitt, still in costume as her character Vanessa, joining the kids at the local pet store to acquire what ended up being “quite a few” hamsters. Pitt was out of town, and Jolie Pitt had been charmed by the sight of some chipmunks in the window, so she met the children there after work. “So I was Vanessa in the pet store, which was already a whole bunch of weird. And then I put my finger near a chipmunk, and it nearly bit it off. Then we saw these tiny little miniature hamsters, and somehow everybody wanted one or two. By the time Dad got home, they were running everywhere. And there are cats all over Malta, so we had the cats going after the hamsters and the hamsters escaping and it was hysterical.”
At the end of the shoot, she says, they returned to Los Angeles with the new additions to the family menagerie (which also includes two dogs), and to their fairly bare-bones household.
This reminds of when Brangie bought gerbils in France (aka THE STORY OF THE YEAR). So now we know that they’re not only creating a child army, but they’re also creating their own Noah’s Ark. If By The Sea flops and God punishes humanity by destroying the world, Brangie can easily repopulate the earth’s supply of living things.