Here I was going on and on about the baby-making bareback daddy skills of Hugh Grant, Lil’ Wayne, Jim Bob Duggar and Mel Gibson, and I have failed to give credit to Eddie Murphy’s fertile jizz fishes. It’s been more than 8 years since 54-year-old Eddie has made another kid and since then, his jizz fishes have been hitting the treadmill, doing sit-ups and eating lots of protein (does this mean they’re cannibals?) while waiting for the day they’d get another chance to knock a trick up. They recently got that chance and didn’t disappoint. Eddie’s girlfriend of around 4 years, 36-year-old Paige Butcher, is carrying their first kid together and his 9th total. That news made the California Department Of Child Support Services hire more staff.
Eddie’s rep didn’t say much. They only said this to Page Six about Eddie’s latest baby:
The couple “are pleased to announce that they are expecting a child in May,” Murphy’s rep told Page Six.
Right now, Eddie has 8 kids with 4 baby mothers including Scary Spice (remember that messiness?). I would list all of their names, but I doubt even Eddie knows them by heart. He just calls them, “Kid #1, kid #2, etc…” Eddie’s eldest is 26 and his youngest is 8. He’s also a father to two 25-year-olds and yes, they have different mothers. So back in the day, when Eddie Murphy wasn’t giving rides to transgender hookers, he was shooting bare nuts into ovaries.
And the nutsacks of Stevie Wonder and Mel Gibson are probably filled with major action right now, because their jizz fishes are hyped up and don’t want Eddie Murphy’s baby batter showing them up like this.