File this under: Shit Leona Helmsley wish she thought of.
Yahoo! News says that before an 85-year-old Austrian granny died in the retirement home she was living in, she went to the bank, took out her entire fortune in cash (which was around $1.1 million) and ripped it all into tiny pieces in her room. After the woman died, 950,000 euros, along with savings accounts books, were found shredded on her bed. It was a giant FUCK YOU to her heirs. Prosecutors say she didn’t want them to get a cent of her money for some reason. Sure, she could’ve donated the money to charity or left it all to some cat, but nothing says “I hate you I hate you I hate you” quite like torn up money.
Her Lucille Bluth-approved plan backfired and she’s probably in the afterworld screaming, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!,” while shaking her fists in the air. The bank says that they will replace all of the money for her heirs. Somebody is definitely getting majorly haunted over this!
“If the heirs can only find shreds of money and if the origin of the money is assured, then of course it can all be replaced,” Friedrich Hammerschmidt, deputy head of the OeNB cashier division, told Kurier.
“If we didn’t pay out the money then we would be punishing the wrong people.”
The lesson to be learned here is that if become an old millionaire who hates their family and you don’t want them to get their hands on any of your money, don’t shred it into tiny pieces. Burn it! Or better yet, really let them know that you can’t stand their asses by using your money to buy hundreds of thousands of copies of an LMFAO CD and leave that to them. But make sure you tear up and eat the receipt.