Rebel Wilson Wants Nothing To Do With The Kartrashians

November 4, 2015 / Posted by:

If you own goats and live in the Calabasas area, throw a rosary around their necks and keep them inside, because Pimp Mama Kris is going to send Khlozilla out to catch a few of them since she’ll need their blood to cast a black magic kurse on Rebel Wilson for shitting on her koven of hos.

While on the Kyle and Jackie O radio show in Australia, Rebel Wilson said in so many words that she’d rather recreate her awkward police joke in the middle of a Black Lives Matter rally than do anything with any of Pimp Mama Kris’ kin. Rebel said that the MTV peopled asked her to present an award with Kylie and Kendall Jenner at this past VMAs and she pretty much told them to open their mouths and eat her fart.

Rebel: “I got asked to present with Kendall and Kylie at the recent VMAs and said ‘no’. It’s not that you hate any of them individually, but it’s just that everything they stand for is against everything I stand for. And they’re not famous for talent. I worked really hard to get where I’ve gotten to.”

Jackie: “But why would they team you with Kendall and Kylie? That seems random.”

Rebel: “I think if I was going to dress up as Kim Kardashian if I did it…… I mean how Kim Kardashian got famous from the sex tape and I just went to acting school and worked really hard.”

I wouldn’t want to present with Wite Chyna and Kendull either. You’d have to do ALL the reading and I don’t think you get paid for that crap. Kylie Jenner wouldn’t be able to say words, because she wouldn’t be able to open up her Fix-A-Flat-filled lips without help from an industrial crane. Then there’s Kendall. Your nerves would slowly split as her blank eyes went blanker while she struggled to say really difficult words like “present” and “award” on the screen in front of her. You’d have to scream, “Sound out the words,” at that Hooked on Phonics dropout before shooing her away so you can just do it yourself. Not to mention that you’d have to deal with Pimp Mama Kris whisper shouting, “Kylie, don’t forget that nip slip we practiced,” from the wings.

And here’s Kylie and the others leaving Kendall’s birthday party the other night. BLASPHEMY is Kylie thinking she’s Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface.

Pics: Splash,

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