Ohio Voters Did Not Make Nick Lachey A Weed Kingpin

November 4, 2015 / Posted by:

Voters could’ve put the HIGH in Ohio yesterday voting to completely legalize the good shit, which might’ve made Nick Lachey, of all hos richer, than Jessica Simpson. But sadly for Nick Lachey, Ohio decided that they’d rather give their money to their local weed man than stick it between the hard tits of the dude from 98 Degrees.

A motley crew of Ohio weed farm owners (including Cincinnati’s own Nick Lachey, fashion designer Nanette Lepore, retired NBA star Oscar Robertson, football player Frostee Rucker and descendants of President Taft) put up as much as a total of $4 million to get a marijuana legalization bill to the voters. If the bill to make medicinal and recreational marijuana legal passed, 10 weed farms in Ohio, and only those 10 weed farms, would’ve been able to grow the good shit and sell it to dispensaries. Nick and his partners own one of the 10 farms. They paid $10 million for it, like the other farm owners. Of course, the owners wanted that shit to pass, because one study claimed that they’d collectively make $1.1 billion a year if it did.

Cleveland.com says that the weed bill, called Issue 3, won just 35.9% of the votes. Apparently, even some of the pot heads of Ohio threw a side-eye at the bill, because it would’ve turned the weed game into a monopoly. Nick Lachey cried out a green tear (it was green because he was thinking of all the money he’s losing out on) as he tweeted about being defeated.

What’s really weird to me is that the second hottest dude in 98 Degrees owns a weed farm. Out of all the 90s boy banders, I would’ve guessed that Chris Kirkpatrick of N*Sync would be the one to own a weed farm, because he was obviously stoned into oblivion when he did his hair up like a rotten braided pineapple.

In other Ohio political news, Opal Covey, my choice for president in 2020, didn’t become Mayor of Toledo last night. She came in last place! So I’m guessing that all of the stoners of Toledo are smoking an illegal joint next to Opal Covey while watching God destroy their city with lightning bolts.

Pic: Wenn.com

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