Hot Slut Of The Day!

This classic Survival Car Insurance commercial from the 90s!

Every time I watched The Maury Povich Show or Jerry Springer after school in the 90s, this commercial for the California-based car insurance company Survival would play at least forty five hundred times. Survival had other commercials, but this one was iconic and every line from it is forever burned into my brain. If I ever have brain surgery, the doctor is going to open up my skull and wonder why the words “I can’t take that ride” are burned onto my cerebral cortex. This mess may have only played in California, and if that’s the case, it’s a damn shame, because the entire world needed to be exposed to this brilliance and needed to know that you can’t take a ride from a trick who isn’t insured by Survival!

The owner of Survival, Richie Acunto (File: “ACUNTo” under last names I wish I had), was the star of the commercial. I wish I knew that as a kid, because I always wondered why in the hell they cast him to be the “hot picky hitchhiker.” I mean, dude should take what he can get! If a methed-out trucker with the license plate SRLKLLR offered him a ride, he should be thankful that at least somebody pulled over for his ass. And the chick in the commercial is hot and rich, so why would she get all horny for him? Those are the questions that kept me awake as a teenager.

Richie Acunto put himself in all of Survival’s commercial, because he was modest like that and probably learned how to be modest from Scientology. Richie was a major Scientologist and Survival used to be Scientology’s car (and UFO) insurance of choice. Sadly, we’ll never see Tom Cruise and John Travolta (as the hot bitch, of course, duh) in a remake of that commercial, because Survival is no more. They declared bankruptcy in 2011. Richie Acunto is also broke, because he reportedly gave millions upon millions of dollars to Scientology.

Well, now I know that if Richie Acunto is ever hitchhiking in the middle of the desert and someone offers him a ride, he’s going to take that ride no matter what kind of insurance the ho picking him up has. “I can and will take that ride” is his new line.