Well, here’s another one to file under: “Weird Shit That Happened At Tom Cruise’s Creepy Scientology Wedding“.
Thanks to Leah Remini’s recent appearance on 20/20 to promote her upcoming messy Scientology dump of a memoir called Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, we know that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding was the night David Miscavige added Leah’s name to his Burn Book. We also know Leah didn’t get to dance the funky chicken with her BFF Jennifer Lopez because JLo was too busy doing shots at the bar with Scientology’s recruitment team. And now Leah would like us to know that Suri Cruise spent the evening serenading Tom and Katie’s wedding guests with her baby screams from the bathroom.
According to Leah (via the NY Daily News, who got their hands on an advanced copy of her book), people could barely hear themselves think over the sound of Suri crying. Suri wasn’t with her parents, who were no doubt sitting there at the head table like two creepy ventriloquist dummies, and Leah says nobody seemed to care that a baby was screaming bloody murder all through dinner. So after five minutes of listening to a crying baby, she got up from her seat to see if she could find where Screamin’ Baby Suri was. Eventually Suri’s crying lead her to a bathroom, where Leah found Baby Suri on the floor.
Now here’s where it gets all Rosemary’s Baby. Leah claims Suri was surrounded by three women, including Tom’s sister and his assistant, who were staring at her as if they were watching “L. Ron Hubbard incarnate.” All of them just watching her cry. Leah says she convinced the women to pick Suri up and give her a bottle. Cue the music!
But Leah’s meeting in the bathroom with Suri wasn’t her only uncomfortable experience with one of Tom’s kids. After Tommy’s Dream Wedding Leah shared a ride to the airport with Connor and Bella Cruise. She decided to make some small talk and ask if they’d seen their mother, Nicole Kidman, recently. Leah says Bella replied by hissing:
“Not if I have a choice. Our mom is a fucking SP.”
In case you misplaced your Scientology-to-English dictionary, “SP” is short for “suppressive person.” I wonder if “Fucking SP” is the name that comes up when Bella gets a text from her mom.
Leah’s story about Bella doesn’t exactly surprise me, since we all know their relationship with their non-Scientology mom is as rocky as Tom Cruise trying to break in new pair of shoe lifts. But I am surprised about Suri crying all alone on the floor like she’s the baby from that City High song. One of those dead-eyed women should have told her that her daddy was about to sing “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” to her mommy while everyone else sat there awkwardly and scanned the room for an emergency exit. I mean, really, how could that not cheer her up?