Getting into a fight for custody with Halle Berry is like waltzing with a chainsaw who accuses you of being a racist piece of trash and a shit dad. Olivier Martinez apparently knows this, so he’s not even going to dare to get into the ring with Halle Berry and is going to try to play nice. That is the worst news Halle Berry’s lawyer has ever heard! They’ve been eyeing a vacation home in St. Thomas and hoped they could buy it with the money they’d make from her next never-ending custody craziness. Damn that Olivier Martinez for wanting to be a sane and mature adult!
TMZ says that Halle filed for divorce AGAIN yesterday, because the first time she did it, she used fake names. Olivier filed his own divorce papers. Halle said in the second set of divorce papers that she wants joint custody of their 2-year-old son Maceo, but ultimately wants whatever is best for her kid. Olivier said in his papers that he wants joint custody. Sources tell TMZ that Olivier “witnessed” the blood bath between Halle and Gabriel Aubry in their battle for their daughter Nahla and doesn’t want a repeat of that mess. Olivier isn’t making plans to move to France, so we shouldn’t expect the second coming of Kelly Rutherford’s custody disaster, and he and Halle both want joint custody.
Um, okay, Olivier remembers things differently than I do, because he didn’t just “witness” the full-blown fuckery. Crazy bitch was a part of it. Doesn’t Olivier remember eating his Thanksgiving mashed potatoes with gravy made out of Gabriel Aubry’s face blood after he punched out that gorgeous mug on Halle’s driveway? Maybe that’s why Olivier doesn’t want things with Halle to get into train wreck territory, because he knows that Thanksgiving is coming up and he doesn’t want to spend the holiday scraping his face off of the concrete after Halle’s next boyfriend goes crazy on him.
Even though Olivier reportedly wants to keep things calm, somebody didn’t get that memo and is still going on with their smear campaign against him. A source gave People this quote about why Halle and Olivier’s marriage ate a soft turd. This has to be my favorite quote to come out of this divorce. It’s like Homer (not Simpson, the other one) himself wrote this:
“Oliver comes from a world where he was easily intimidated by her ability to work and that she was the breadwinner. He was emasculated by her beauty and her power, and his temper could erupt. He was never physically abusive towards her. He was very possessive in a very kind of caveman way but was never abusive to her or the family. He had an explosive temper in a way that was profoundly frightening. You never knew when he would explode.”
I love that. It’s like the synopsis of an E.L. James book I’d actually read. No wonder Olivier Martinez’s squint is getting squintier and squintier. He’s blinded by Halle’s beauty and power!