Marc Jacobs Said Goodbye To Grindr With A Chill Orgy

October 27, 2015 / Posted by:

Marc Jacobs recently deleted Grindr from his phone, but before he did that, he said goodbye to it with a good old-fashioned fuck time orgy. I’ve always said that you haven’t properly said goodbye to something until you’ve had an orgy in its honor. When my last job threw me a “bye, bitch” party, I let out a “pfft” when I walked into the conference room and saw a sheet cake, nachos and sparkling wine instead of naked dudes, bottles of lube, a punch bowl full of colored condoms and poppers.

Marc posted that weird goodbye note to Grindr on Instagram yesterday and declared that he’s temporarily retiring from bouncing from Grindr dick to Grindr dick at an orgy and is going to dive face first into his work instead. His work is what really makes his b-hole hot. I know we were all wondering what goes down at a Marc Jacobs orgy, and thankfully, one of the orgy goers is the type to fuck and tell.

The source tells Page Six that Marc Jacob’s farewell to Grindr bone fest was a 2-day, 10-dude event at his house. But the source says it wasn’t some kind of Caligula-like wild party where jizz splattered all over the place and dudes formed a butt fuck centipede while snorting fat lines of the bad shit off of each other’s backs. The source said some dudes were doing GHB and Tina (Marc Jacobs says he’s sober), but it was mostly just laid-back and chill. It was a casual and light orgy. If that orgy was an item of clothing, it’d be a long and loose oatmeal-colored cotton cardigan from Chico’s. It was a Chico’s kind of orgy.

“Everyone was in their 20s,” said the source, who claimed the party raged at Jacobs’ home and lasted from the weekend into Sunday morning.

But “people weren’t as good-looking as I expected,” the source sighed. “I expected Lorenzo Martone beautiful. They were average, chill people who didn’t have any attitude, which was really nice.” That is nice at an orgy!

That is nice at an orgy! Marc already responded to Page Six’s story on Instagram and kept the niceness going by wishing health and happiness to the blabbermouth trick who spilled it to the Post.

Wild??? I’d say “MILD”. And to whichever guest benefitted from calling this misinformation into the Post, I only wish you good health, happiness, and a long life to enjoy taking advantage of the kindness of strangers and talking shit about others. #reallyqueen?

What’s really surprising to me is that nobody at that hump soiree “leaked” any pictures to the media. I mean, nowadays, a ho will take pictures of food, the air and everything else, but nobody tweeted a picture from that Marc Jacobs orgy. Yeah, it was uncouth of that ho to tell-all to Page Six, but at least they didn’t tweet a picture of a sweaty Marc Jacobs getting it in while on a bed of naked dudes. So yeah, it really does sound like a chill orgy full of nice guys! If you’re going to have an orgy, have a nice guy orgy.

And here’s pictures of Lorenzo Martone showing off the level of hotness that orgy-goer expected from a Marc Jacobs sex party.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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