Halle Berry Is Getting Divorced For The Third Time

October 27, 2015 / Posted by:

I probably need to tip you over and pour you out, because you’re probably filled with pure shock after finding out that a marriage between a crazy mess and a crazy mess is ending up in the gutter.

A few months ago, Radar said that Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez’s 2-year-old marriage was hanging on by a thread, because they hardly ever spent time together and she was worried that his violent asshole ways could put her kids in danger. Halle didn’t think to herself, “Err, maybe this situation isn’t such a good thing,” when Olivier smashed the pretty out of Gabriel Aubry on the driveway. The beginning of the end of their marriage came when Olivier attacked a pap with a carseat at LAX. That pap recently threw a lawsuit at Olivier and that lawsuit caused these two messes to fight. They’re both over it and Halle was the first one to take a machete to their marriage by filing for divorce.

Some source said that it took them two years to realize that they’re not good together.

“They’re just very, very different people. He’s a very macho guy, and things just didn’t jive.:”

You know how Halle Berry can easily tell if a dude isn’t good for her? The fact that she’s attracted to his ass. Halle Berry is her own asshole detector. If she sees a dude and can see herself marrying him and boning him regularly, she just needs to keep it moving, because it’s not going to end well. Two insane train wrecks do not make a right. Paging Iyanla! Paging Iyanla! A life needs fixing.

Halle and Olivier farted up this joint statement about their marriage being over:

“It is with a heavy heart that we have come to the decision to divorce. We move forward with love and respect for one another and the shared focus for what is best for our son. We wish each other nothing but happiness in life, and we hope that you respect our, and most importantly our children’s privacy, as we go through this difficult period.”

The source says that Halle wants what’s in the “best interest” of their 2-year-old son Maceo and isn’t asking for joint or primary custody right now.

Want what’s in the best interest of the child?” “We wish each other nothing but happiness?” It’s too early in the week for that much bullshit. Even the court in L.A. is laughing at that. They know Halle. They’re probably covering their court rooms with plastic tarps to prepare for all the shit and blood that Halle and Olivier are going to throw at each other.

And here’s Olivier looking sad while buying pumpkins. I’m surprised he didn’t punch one of those pumpkins out for looking at him wrong.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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