GOOP is at it again. Dr. Goopy Paltrow recently got a whole lot of shit thrown at her when she claimed on Instagram that sitting in a hot sauna will flush the flu out. Some medical experts said that while sitting in a sauna may help you flush out the insufferableness that fills your system when you read Goop, it’ll probably make your flu worse. Goopy got even more shit thrown at her again when Goop queefed out a cloud of cold steam in the form of a post about how wearing an underwire bra can lead to cancer.
The post, written by Dr. Habib Sadeghi (aka The Water Has Feelings Doctor), uses a book from 1995 titled Dressed to Kill: The Link Between Breast Cancer and Bras to explain that wearing a tight bra can restrict the lymph nodes around the chichis area and raise the temperature of tit tissue, which could screw with the hormone function and increase a woman’s risk for breast cancer. Dr. Habib also writes that the underwire in a bra can magnify the radiation from WiFi and cell phones. He suggests that women shouldn’t wear bras with underwire and should try to give their chichis a rest as much as possible. via HuffPo
Sadeghi advises women to limit the amount of time they wear bras, buy bras without underwire and never carry a cell phone in a breast pocket, pants pocket or the bra itself. “While there is a legitimate reason for concern when it comes to bras and breast cancer,” he writes, “some simple changes, along with an existing healthy lifestyle, can result in a drastic reduction in breast cancer risk.”
You know, I’d be all for Dr. Habib’s piece if he also claimed that men shouldn’t wear pants or chonies, because that shit causes cancer too. I’d find a way to forward that post to Jon Hamm, Prince Hot Ginge, Idris Elba, etc…
As HuffPo points, The American Cancer Society stamped “BOGUS!” on the whole “bras cause cancer” thing a while ago. Dr. Jennifer Gunter, an OBGYN from San Francisco, also took Goop’s piece, tore it apart, set it on fire and then shit all over its ashes. Dr. Gunter told HuffPo that it was wrong of Goopy to post it:
“This stuff scares women. When people have cancer they desperately reap their past to try and come up with things they may have done, and so this kind of misinformation could cause women to stress and lose sleep and that is definitely bad for your health, never mind being cruel.”
This is all just a big misunderstanding! I don’t think Dr. Habib and Goopy meant that ALL bras give you the big C. Only toxic trash bras sold at emporiums for the poor like KMart, Target, H&M and Victoria’s Secret give you cancer. The $80 bras with underwire that were recently sold on Goop don’t.
The underwire in the Goop bra is actually made of platinum imported from South Africa, so it won’t magnify radiation and the bra itself won’t suffocate your lymph nodes, because it’s not made of cheap ass polyester or cotton that isn’t voile imported from Switzerland. So yeah, Goop bras, total cancer-blockers and no, don’t quote me on that, because I’m as much of an expert in cancer-blocking bras as Goopy is an expert in medical science.