St. Angie Jolie And Her Entire Holy Family Are In “Vogue”

October 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Since I know all of you go to church every single Sunday morning, don’t be too surprised when you find that all the Bibles in the pews have been replaced with November’s issue of Vogue. Who needs those stupid Psalms or whatever when you’ve got pictures of the entire chosen family to cleanse your dirty soul and wash away all your sins. Annie Leibovitz took all the pictures of Dame St. Angie Jolie and her child army frolicking along the beach in costumes. We should just go ahead and say goodbye to the Pacific Ocean right now. Because the hardcore Brangeloonies are going to make a pilgrimage to the California beach where these pictures were taken and are going to guzzle that water down since it was blessed by the feet of these earth deities.

St. Angie’s in November’s issue of Vogue, because she’s pushing that long-form 70s perfume commercial called By The Sea. I skimmed through the interview and she talks about the movie a little bit, but she mostly talks about saving the world and she also gets into talking about how she got her ovaries removed a few months ago.

On how By The Sea, which is about a couple’s marriage circling the toilet drain, isn’t autobiographical: “It’s not autobiographical,” says Angelina, smiling. She shrugs off the fact that celebrity-watchers will have a field day trying to read into this movie. “Brad and I have our issues,” she offers, “but if the characters’ were even remotely close to our problems we couldn’t have made the film.”

On the procedures she got after finding out she has that BRCA1 gene: Jolie Pitt has famously said that she has a ticking clock in her head, and that she is surprised to still be here; that she lives every day like it might be her last. Now, having gone through menopause, she says, “I feel grounded as a woman. I know others do too. Both of the women in my family, my mother and my grandmother”—who also succumbed to ovarian cancer—“started dying in their 40s. I’m 40. I can’t wait to hit 50 and know I made it.”

On how she makes sure she spends a lot of time with all 5,000 of her children: “I schedule individual time with each of the kids like a crazy person,” she says. “I know what I’m doing with my boys tonight”—her friend Mariane Pearl, whom she played in A Mighty Heart, is on her way over with her son, Adam. They’ll go out and then “play board games all night.”

On retiring from acting one day: “What a crazy job!” she says. “I’m almost enjoying it more now that I see it as something I’ve been fortunate to be part of. Maybe in the next few years I’ll finish being in front of the camera. I’ll be happier behind it,” she continues. “I’m happy to be home. I want to really focus on my children, doing the best I can to guide and protect them before they are out of the house. These are their most important years.”

On how her children are basically living a never-ending Price Is Right prize package, because they’re constantly going on amazing trips: The kids are homeschooled by teachers from different backgrounds and religions, speaking different languages. “We travel often to Asia, Africa, Europe, where they were born,” says Angelina. “The boys know they’re from Southeast Asia, and they have their food and their music and their friends, and they have a pride particular to them. But I want them to be just as interested in the history of their sisters’ countries and Mommy’s country so we don’t start dividing. Instead of taking Z on a special trip”—ten-year-old Zahara was adopted from Ethiopia in 2005—“we all go to Africa and we have a great time.”

And here’s the rest of the pics. Every movie director hoping to win an Oscar next year can go ahead and throw their dreams into the trash can. Because Maddox Jolie-Pitt is going to win the Best Director Oscar for that picture of him with a camera and that picture of him with a camera alone.

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