Randy And Evi Quaid Have Been Freed And Are Running Loose In Vermont Now

Last week, Randy and Evi Quaid’s North American tour of craziness took us to Vermont where they were both busted for trying to get into the US all sneaky-like. Randy and Eve were being held on $500,000 bail each and it looked like they were going to be shipped off to California to face felony vandalism charges. But yesterday, the judge released them without bail after declaring that they were being held with no probable cause. No probable cause?! The probable cause is that they’re Randy and Evi Quaid and will flee that bitch faster than a Grindr trick after I take my shirt off. But really, The Burlington Free Press says that the judge in Vermont released them because there’s a problem with California’s extradition papers.

Evi and Randy ran off to Canada years ago after they were hit with felony vandalism and burglary charges for squatting in the guest house of a house in Santa Barbara that they once owned. Randy tried to apply for citizenship in Canada, but they denied it, because of the charges he faces in CA. Randy was recently arrested in Montreal, but was released. Canada was reportedly making plans to deport him to CA, but Randy and Evi escaped to Vermont before they could. And here we are now.

ABC News says that the DA in Santa Barbara is working on getting a governor’s warrant, which will allow Vermont to extradite the Quaids to CA. They haven’t gotten the warrant yet, which is why the Quaids were released. The Santa Barbra DA says that if Randy and Evi try to bust out of Vermont, they will be arrested on the original warrant.

After Randy and Evi were released back into the wild, he told reporters that they plan to stay in Lincoln, VT and he wants to become a firefighter.

Randy Quaid said he is looking forward to staying in Vermont with his wife for the time being and said he wants to join the volunteer fire department in the Addison County town of Lincoln, about 50 miles south of St. Albans.

“I’ve always known the facts were what they are, and they are always in our favor,” Quaid said. “I’ve never worried about being found guilty or any of that for any of this because I know the truth, and I knew the facts are going to come out at some point.”

You know, both Randy and Evi should join the fire department. Every time there’s a blaze, they can destroy it by fucking in front of it. I mean, I’ve seen their sex tapes and that shit sucked the heat right out of me.

Screw being a firefighter! Randy Quaid should be our new Speaker of the House. Wait… Maybe the real Randy Quaid isn’t in Vermont at all. Maybe that magical wizard at the Democratic Debate in Las Vegas was the real Randy Quaid who was quietly plotting his political domination. I can’t wait!