Taylor Swift Is HIGHLY Offended Over Being Called “Calculating”

October 15, 2015 / Posted by:

In GQ’s annual Eye Roll Issue, the human version of Nermal from Garfield talks about all sorts of shit including how “Bad Blood” isn’t about Katy Perry and how she hates when people think she’s calculating. That’s such a calculating thing for a calculating person to say! There’s also a little story she tells about the days when she wasn’t the popular Homecoming Queen of Celebrity High. When Taylor was younger and not famous, she invited a bunch of girls to the mall and they all said they had something else to do. So Taylor’s mom took her and when they strolled through the mall, she found all those girls shopping at Victoria’s Secret. I really hope that Taylor tracked down those girls who rejected her and went to their house one by one with her Victoria’s Secret model friends to say, “Big mistake! Big! HUGE!

During Chuck Klosterman’s GQ interview with Taylor, he brought up how he had dinner with a former acquaintance of her’s and that former acquaintance described her as calculating. (I’m going to take a wild guess and say that former acquaintance was Ed Droste of Grizzy Bear.) Chuck writes that it was the only time in their interview that Taylor seemed tripped up and flustered. Tay Tay can’t believe that anybody would ever think that she, a person who collects friends based on how many Instagram likes posting their picture will get her, is calculated. How dare all of you! She says “calculating” like it’s a bad thing.

She really, really hates the word calculating. She despises how it has become tethered to her iconography and believes the person I met has been the singular voice regurgitating this categorization. As she explains these things, her speech does not oscillate from the second mode.

“Am I shooting from the hip?” she asks rhetorically. “Would any of this have happened if I was? In that sense, I do think about things before they happen. But here was someone taking a positive thing—the fact that I think about things and that I care about my work—and trying to make that into an insinuation about my personal life. Highly offensive. You can be accidentally successful for three or four years. Accidents happen. But careers take hard work.”

Chuck also brought up how everyone thinks that “Bad Blood” is about one specific person (Katy Perry). Taylor says that when Rolling Stone asked her who that song was about, she only said it was about losing a friend. According to her, her policy is to never say who her songs are about, but she said that, because she didn’t want anyone to think it’s about an ex-boyfriend.

“I never said anything that would point a finger in the specific direction of one specific person, and I can sleep at night knowing that. I knew the song would be assigned to a person, and the easiest mark was someone who I didn’t want to be labeled with this song. It was not a song about heartbreak. It was about the loss of friendship.”

Chuck called her out and let her know that nobody thought it was about a dude:

“But they would have. So I don’t necessarily care who people think it’s about. I just needed to divert them away from the easiest target. Listen to the song. It doesn’t point to any one person or any one situation. But if you’d listened to my previous four albums, you would think this was about a guy who broke my heart. And nothing could be further from the truth. It was important to show that losing friendships can be just as damaging to a person as losing a romantic relationship.”

Santo dios! It’s a pop song. She acts like she wrote the damn Da Vinci Code. We all know it’s about Katy Perry. Taylor Swift basically said it was about Katy Perry. Katy Perry thinks it’s about Katy Perry. If I played that song for my old auntie who barely knows english, she’d say, “Eso es Katy Perry.” The only reason why she called it “Bad Blood” is because her label thought that the title “Fuck That Cunt Katy Perry” was just a teensy bit off-brand for the album.

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