I did not need to know the mating rituals of Ewoks, but Snooki told us anyway. Snooki was on Wendy Williams (via Page Six) promoting something or another and during the “Hot Seat” section of the show, Wendy asked her where is the craziest place she’s ever wet humped. Snooki said a car. A CAR. This is Snooki. I’m sure she fucked the duck phone while on a ferris wheel at the Jersey Shore, but Snooki went with “car.” Snooki says that she and her husband Jionni LaValle were driving back from a date when they couldn’t ignore the throbbing in their mammaloid biped loins and had to get it on while he was driving on the highway. This is the beautiful tale of how their 12-month-old daughter came to be:
“Me and Jionni went out on a date in Hoboken [New Jersey] and we were driving back and we started hooking up while he was driving. I just climbed on top of him while he’s driving on the highway.
My period didn’t come and I got pregnant.”
They’re both slightly bigger than Fisher-Price Little People®, so I guess getting their road fuck-on wouldn’t be that hard. But I’m going to give Jionni all the credit here. Jionni managed not to crash while sitting on a booster seat and working those extension pedals as Snooki squirted pickle crotch juices all over his dick and let out a high-pitched sex screech into his ears. That takes real talent.
And since we’re on the subject of riding your man’s stick shift while on the highway, let’s relive this classic: