Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 11, 2015 / Posted by:

Stephen Dale (as played by Madison Smith) from Lifetime’s Unauthorized Melrose Place Story!

Last night, Lifetime followed-up their HIGHLY inaccurate (but still entertaining, especially after making out with your bong) Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 movie with the Unauthorized Melrose Place Story. I hope Lifetime keeps making extremely important unauthorized biopics of all of Aaron Spelling’s creations, because I really need to know what happened behind-the-scenes on Models Inc., 2000 Malibu Road and Titans.

Lifetime’s Melrose Place movie showed us that the cast was pretty damn boring and they never tried to gnaw each other’s throats out or anything. They actually got along and stuck up for each other. I know, crazy. The producers should’ve added Shannen Doherty to the cast, because she would’ve brought major amounts of behind-the-scenes bitchery and SCANDAL and given the creators of this Lifetime movie something to work with. Why didn’t the producers of Melrose Place think of the creators of future unauthorized biopics?!

The Unauthorized Melrose Place movie didn’t cover Hunter Tylo suing Aaron Spelling’s ass after she was fired for getting knocked up and was replaced with a trout mount in a fried wig (aka Lisa Rinna). They also didn’t show the time when Heather Locklear got pregnant and her “baby bump” was covered with all sorts of ridiculous shit like potted plants and briefcases. But I did learn something new last night. I learned that Andrew Shue was not the original Billy Campbell.

A Canadian actor named Stephen Fanning (they called him Stephen Dale in the movie, one of the many things they changed) was first cast as Billy. Lifetime’s movie claims that when they shot the pilot, Billy had a scene where he strolled up to a doorway with his shirt wide open and the sight of his body was supposed to make the viewers frothy in the crotch. But when they filmed the scene, Stephen hadn’t gone to the gym in a while and delivered a keg instead of a six-pack. Hunter Tylo wasn’t the first Melrose Place cast member to be fired for being plump in the belly area. Stephen was pink-slipped for not being hard body-ready and he was replaced with Andrew Shue, who had the charisma of a broken light bulb and the acting skills of a Styrofoam peanut, but was hot as fuck. (Fun fact: I did not know that Andrew Shue co-founded CafeMom.)

I did a little research (read: a 2 second Google search) for this post and found this photo of the first cast including Stephen Fanning as Billy:

melroseplacefirstcastphoto2015

Stephen Fanning is giving me Dollar General clearance section Joey Lawrence in that picture. Yeah sure, Stephen got fired from Melrose Place, but he went on to star in a TV movie with Gail O’Grady and Lori Loughlin, so who really won in the end?

And runner-up for HSOTD goes to the replica of the Melrose Place set in Lifetime’s movie:

unauthorizedmelroseplaceset

I’ve seen plastic outdoor playhouses that were bigger and more expensive-looking than that and the pool is the size of a manicure bowl. What I’m saying is, that replica set is ART.

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