And Now In “What’s Kanye West Ranting About On Twitter Today?” News…
Kanye West, the real-life version of OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD, is very mad about something and wants you to know about it. Last night, Kanye took a break from his usual Friday night routine (reassuring Kim Kardashian that she’s still the most beautiful factory-made fuck doll while staring at himself in a reflective surface) to hop on Twitter and rage hard against Kanye’s latest foe: IN-APP PURCHASES! Sorry, Hatfields and McCoys, but you’ve clearly been replaced as American history’s most hard-core feud.
It all started after Kanye and Kim’s tax write-off (“Miscellaneous photography expense“) North West wandered away from the nanny’s quarters and into Daddy’s room with her iPad. I guess North’s money manager, Pimp Granny Kris Jenner, forgot to link up her My First Black Card with the App Store, because she kept getting notices for in-app purchases on the game she was playing and brought it to Daddy’s attention.
Apparently, Kanye isn’t into hustling little kids for money. So Kanye did what Kanye does when Kanye is mad: Kanye ranted on Twitter about it. “Oh shit” thought Kim while kounting the mountain of kash she makes off the 12-year-olds who hit BUY on every in-app purchase notification in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood.
Fuck any game company that puts in-app purchases on kids games!!!
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) October 10, 2015
That makes no sense!!! We give the iPad to our child and every 5 minutes there's a new purchase!!!
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) October 10, 2015
If a game is made for a 2 year old, just allow them to have fun and give the parents a break for Christ sake.
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) October 10, 2015
I can sort of understand what Kanye is saying (that’s your cue to book me a bed at the nut house, btw). It would be super annoying to give your kid an iPad to help them learn their shapes and shit, and then find out they can’t level-up to triangle without forking over $2.99. Or maybe Kanye is just pissed that North’s iPad games dared to ask her for money. Doesn’t Apple know that asking the Kardashians to pay for something contradicts Pimp Mama Kris’s mantra of “get that ka$$$h“?
But speaking of giving parents a break, I see that North’s Auntie Kourtney took a parenting break and hit up the clubs with Justin Bieber last night.
Leaving your three kids at home so you can get lit with someone 15 years younger than you? How very Scott Disick of you, Kourtney. No, I hardly doubt anything is going on between Kourtney and Justin. She probably saw Justin trying to take sips out of other people’s drinks, and when he couldn’t answer “Where are your parents?” without nervously stammering “Well, uh…“, she ordered him to get in the car and took his ass back home. It’s totally the Kourtney thing to do (Kourtney’s kharacter identity on KUWTK is that she’s a mother type, right? I always forget).
Here’s more of Kourtney reminding us what Kim and Khloe’s original ass looked like while leaving a club with Justin Bieber last night:
Pics: Splash/INF