Seen above on the cover of NME looking like a young, blond and stoned David Cassidy in Fergie Ferg drag, Taylor Swift tells the magazine that she filed a new lesson into her brain after the little Twitter “dust-up” she had with Nicki Minaj over the MTV VMA nominations. Yes, I’m still talking about it and in 40 years when we’re all in the retirement home waiting for our nurses to finish rolling us a Metamucil-infused joint, I’m going to tell you about the new riveting expose I read in AARP about the 2015 Twitter feud between Taylor Swift Bieber Trump Zuckerberg and Onika Minaj Graham. We’re going to hear about this for the rest of our days.
Tay Tay tells NME that she learned to text, not tweet:
“I don’t want to talk about it. But I send text messages now. If there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding, I go to someone’s management, I get their number and I text them. It’s an important lesson for anyone to learn in 2015.”
If I was famous and my management gave Taylor Swift my phone number, I’d fire those bitches on the spot. That is a good tip, though, even for us regulars who don’t have assistants or managers or anything. I mean, I have an issue with Prince Hot Ginge right now. I’m mad that he hasn’t leaked a video of him jacking off while wearing a crown. So I’m going to settle this by asking his management for his private number, which I’m sure they’ll give me. Thanks for the lesson, Tay Tay!
Taylor also told a funny story that once again sheds light on the cluelessness of Kanye West. Reminder: When Beck won the Album of the Year Grammy, Kanye said that Beck should respect true artistry and should give his award to Beyonce. (Kanye later spit out an apology.)
“Me and Kanye are on such good terms now, six years later. It took a while… But I had to tell Beck this story earlier. I was at dinner with Kanye a week after the Grammys, he stops what he’s saying and he goes, ‘What is this song? I need to listen to this every day.’ I said, ‘It’s Beck, it’s on an album called ‘Morning Phase’, I think you’ve heard of it…’ We just burst out laughing. And he says, ‘Hey, sometimes I’m wrong.’”
And finally, Taylor admitted that she’s overexposed and is going to go away for a little while:
“I think I should take some time off. People might need a break from me. I’m going to hang out with friends. Write new music. Maybe not write new music. I don’t know.”
If Taylor Swift takes a break, that means every famous person on the planet is going to hibernate too. Because what’s the point of being famous and in the game if Taylor Swift isn’t around to welcome you to the stage?
And here’s Taylor Swift on the cover of GQ, because I’m sure between the top cover and now, you’ve missed seeing her face.