Would You Hit It?

October 5, 2015 / Posted by:

I know you want to turn that picture into a seat cover for your office chair so you can sit on that tongue all day long.

Seen above looking like Prince William if Prince William was an early 80s IRS auditor instead of a multi-millionaire British royal, Matthew McConaughey was in NYC this past weekend shooting scenes for his new movie with Edgar Ramirez and Jessica Chastain’s understudy Bryce Dallas Howard. Gold isn’t only the color of the trophy (aka an Oscar) the Texas T-Rex is trying to get his claws around AGAIN, it’s also the name of the movie he’s shooting in NYC. Gold is about a dude who teams up with a hot dude (Edgar Ramirez) to search for gold in the jungles of Indonesia. That sounds very “Fool’s Gold,” and I hope that just like Fool’s Gold, there’s a scene where the two gold-digging partners fuck in a church. Yes, I’m so hard up that I’d find a way to fap to the sight of a fat suit-wearing Texas T-Rex riding on Edgar Ramirez.

Matthew McConaughey is pretty much copying the career moves of Christian Bale. Christian Bale starved himself down to the size of an Olsen’s clit for The Machinist and Matthew McConaughey did the same thing for Dallas Buyers Club. Christian Bale worked the bald look and added some chunk for American Hustle and Matthew McConaughey has shaved his glorious plugs-made hair and said “alright, alright, alright” to extra servings of pie for this Gold movie. I guess that means that Mathew McConaughey is going to play a superhero next. (That’s a studio’s cue to greenlight a Marijuanaman movie.)

And yes, yes I’d hit it. I’d ride it while playing his FUPA like a bongo.

Here’s more of Matthew McConaughey and Bryce Dallas Howard looking like they’re starring in a no-budget community theater production of American Hustle.

Pics: Splash

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