Don’t worry, that giant hair clog you fished out of the shower drain didn’t come to life; it’s actually Miley Cyrus just looking like one while performing on Saturday Night Live last night. Everybody’s favorite hollerin’ high-billy was the host of the 41st season premiere of SNL and – this will be shocking to absolutely no one – Miley went full Miley. Sorry, that’s not technically true; she didn’t “accidentally” flash her nipples or rub her pickled pork rinds against the Weekend Update desk. But she did look a mess and brag about smoking ~so much~ weed like your badass 14 year old cousin, so that’s just about full Miley to me.
In case you missed it (“I wouldn’t say I missed it” said everyone), the Moonshine Princess sang two songs off her Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz album, the first of which she performed while dressed in some home-made “Cousin Itt at Burning Man” couture. You can watch that here, but I will warn you: you will feel very itchy.
Damn, Aidy Bryant does a better Kim Davis than Kim Davis. Speaking of, I’m sure that delusional bitch has already sent out a blast mail from her GeoCities account to all her friends letting them know that she was totally invited to SNL last night.
Of course, it wasn’t all Miley (despite her best efforts); SNL also came for Taylor Swift’s chronic friend collecting. Well, there goes Mango’s chance of ever being please welcome to the stage‘d by Tay Tay. Lorne Michaels, how could you? You know he would have loved that.
In case your eyes haven’t seen enough of Miley looking like drugs farted on high-fructose corn syrup, here’s Miley wearing the contents of my favorite sticker book from third grade at the SNL afterparty: