Last night, I linked an MTV News interview where America’s Standby Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence triple stuffed her mouth with marshmallows, but I missed the most important part. I missed the part where JLaw declared that she’s a proud sink pisser! Of course she’s telling us she’s a proud sink pisser, because Jennifer Lawrence wants us all to know that she’s a 12-year-old boy who got trapped inside the body of a multi-millionaire movie star after asking Zoltair Speaks to make him “big.”
At the end of the interview, MTV’s Josh Horowitz pulled out a question from her friend Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer wanted to know if Jennifer Lawrence has ever peed in a bidet and she pissed out this answer:
JLaw: This is an ongoing conversation with me and Amy. I’ll take it one step further, I’ve peed in some sinks. When two girls go into a bathroom, someone’s gotta take the sink and I actually like taking the sink.
Josh Hutcherson: One could wait.
JLaw: One could wait. But if the one waiting is me, she’s going in the sink.
But what if they both have to take a dump? Never mind, I’ve seen Bridesmaids. She also said that she never washes her hands after pissing. I should hope not! It would be highly disgusting, unsanitary and sucio to wash your hands in a sink that’s got piss all over the faucet. If she gets any piss on her hands while pissing, she just dries it off with her own farts before wiping it on her friend’s shirt. Obviously.