Pope Francis Really Did Meet With Kim Davis During His Visit To The US

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Last night, a Liberty Counsel lawyer for Kim Davis, noted Kentucky fame whore and proud killer of gay marriage dreams, released a long ass statement claiming that Pope Francis invited her to meet with him during his visit to DC. Kim claims they hugged and he gave her and her husband two blessed rosaries. Kim Davis’ lawyer has lied about shit before. So when I read about her supposed meeting with the pope, I threw a squinty side-eye that said, “Uh huh, bitch, and Pope Francis also did a quick day trip to California to meet with me and we got drunk on Andre, messaged hot guys on Grindr and re-enacted our favorite scenes from Showgirls. I let him be the Cristal this time, because you know, he’s the pope.” Kim Davis’ claim that she met Pope Francis reminded me of when a girl in my 8th grade class told everyone that she met Zachery Ty Bryan from Home Improvement during a family vacation to the Virgin Islands and he asked her out, but she said no, because she had a boyfriend. Well, it turns out she was telling the truth. Kim Davis, not that girl from the 8th grade.

Kim Davis says that the Vatican called her weeks ago to set up the meeting in DC. Last Thursday, Kim Davis and her husband went to the Vatican Embassy in DC and hung out with the FORMER “cool pope” for about 15 minutes. Papal Franny apparently fangirled out when meeting Kim Davis. He told her to stay strong and they hugged before he gave her these two rosaries:


Since the cameras are Kim’s real God, she and her husband gave an interview to Good Morning America about her kiki with Pope Francis. Kim basically spit up the same shit that was said in the press release. She added that Pope Francis thanked her for her courage, asked her to pray for him and also showed her the #IStandWithKim tramp stamp he got. (I made that last part up. Or did I?)

The Vatican only said that they would NOT deny that the meeting happened. Also, a receptionist at the Vatican Embassy in DC confirms that Kim Davis met with the pope. (You can always count on the receptionist to spill the tea.) Pope Francis was also asked about government employees refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses and he said this:

“I can’t have in mind all the cases that can exist about conscientious objection … but yes, I can say that conscientious objection is a right that is a part of every human right. It is a right. And if a person does not allow others to be a conscientious objector, he denies a right.”

So yeah, that meeting totally happened.

Some of my friends were totally with this pope, because he’s telling us that global warming is real and isn’t totally condemning women who’ve had abortions to hell. But now they’re like, “I don’t know her,” after finding out that he met up with Kim Davis. I just think that Pope Francis needs to aim higher with his standards. Out of everyone, he chooses to meet HER? She’s not even Catholic! He should’ve met up with more important figures like Charo, Shauna Sand, Spanky the Lazy Bulldog or literally anybody else but Kim Davis.

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