Kate Hudson Is Probably Humping On Nick Jonas
Since Cameron Diaz is still married to that Madden brother and my former home wrecking hero Sienna Miller is a wholesome mom now, we have to count on Kate Hudson to be Hollywood’s premiere tramp who makes all of us sluts proud. But the latest move her chocha made has truly made me squirt out a load of HUHs. Who cares about water on Mars? The real BREAKING news of the day is that Kate Hudson is supposedly fucking a Jonas Bros.
When Kate and Matt Bellamy broke up last year, she moved on to Derek Hough, which was weird to me, but I figured that she was dabbling in the beard game. But bumping her 36-year-old coochie against 23-year-old Nick Jonas is seven stacks of random. TMZ says that Nick did a show at the House of Blues in Orlando over the weekend and Kate joined her maybe fuck piece in Florida. TMZ has pictures of them at Disney World together and pictures of them at brunch in Miami. Their sources say that Kate and Nick aren’t “dating,” but her legendary vagine has definitely visited his peen.
And here’s the pictures of them at brunch in Miami:
Kate is giving you the smug face of a trick who just boned the purity cock ring off of a Jonas Brother and wants you to know. And Nick is making the face a worn out youngin’ makes when he’s trying to hold down the hungover barfs after spending a night trying to keep up with Kate Hudson in the booze and boning department. Kate is going to eat that chicken ALIVE.