Oh, the rich…. Us regulars make our piece get rid of simple stuff from their exes (like cards, ugly stuffed animals, love letters, etc….) by burning it so that we can fuck on the ashes. That’s what us regulars do! (Wait, that’s just me?) But the rich are different. They make their piece get rid of fancy yachts named after their ex.
Johnny Depp used to have a 156-foot yacht he named Vajoliroja, which sounds like the Spanish name of an STD you caught after boning a stranger on a beach in Mexico. Vajoliroja is the names of Johnny, his ex Vanessa Paradis, their daughter Lily-Rose and their son Jack mashed into one. Johnny bought the boat in 2007, but UsWeekly claims he recently had to sell it, because the sight of it made Amber’s eyes burn with jealousy. Amber refused to enter Vajoliroja.
Dubbed the Vajoliroja after his former love of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis, and their kids Lily-Rose, 16, and Jack, 13, the ship, purchased in 2007, was a reminder of the Black Mass lead’s past. “Johnny loved that yacht. But he bought it for Vanessa,” adds the insider. “And Amber is still jealous of her.”
Part of me is shaking my head at Amber, because it’s a real ice cold cuntilicious move to make your man get rid of a boat he named after his children. The other part of me is slow clapping for Amber, because it’s a real ice cold cuntilicious move to make your man get rid of a boat he named after his children and I love a mean bitch. But Amber should’ve taken the ice cold bitchiness to the next level. If she’s really jealous of Vanessa, she should’ve made Johnny paint over the name on the yacht and use his own blood to write its new name: The S.S. Fuck You Gappy. And Amber really has a good reason to be jealous of Vanessa. I mean, Vanessa got to hump on 1999 Johnny Depp.
Here’s Johnny performing with Hollywood Vampires at Rock in Rio last night.