The all-new The Muppets show debuted last night and around 9 million pairs of eyeballs watched it and that put it above Scream Queens (which was like watching Ryan Murphy reenact Heathers with Barbies) for the night. The new The Muppets show to me was like The Office but with Muppets. Sure it was a little more “adult,” but it’s not like the old show was squeaky clean. I mean, Janice was obviously always high out of her felt mind, Miss Piggy and Kermit were in an abusive relationship and Scooter was obviously a sociopath and serial killer since nobody is that nice for real. But well, the comedy group known as One Million Moms (aka Five Crazies With One Million Burner Email Accounts Between Them) believe that the new Muppets show is tainting the brains of the innocent children!
Before last night’s premiere, the group of conservative moms released a letter begging ABC to not smear the pristine innocence of children with their Muppet filth. They wanted ABC to pull the first episode. Their letter didn’t work obviously. But it did work at making me spit out a stream of LOLs. They are comedy geniuses and their line about Kermit not wearing pants proves that. The letter in all its hilarious entirety is after the cut.
1MM suspects there are going to be a lot of shocked moms and dads when they discover that the family-friendly Muppets of the 1970s are no more. It appears that no subject is off limits. ABC’s new Muppet Show, airing on Tuesday evenings at 8:00 pm ET/7:00 pm CT, is not what Jim Henson imagined and created. The new show is aimed at a mature, modern audience and addresses subjects not suitable for family viewing.
“It’s sort of an adult Muppet show,” Kermit the Frog said during a promotional video for the show. One ad read, “Finally, a network TV show with full frontal nudity.” Technically, the advertisement is correct – seeing how Kermit doesn’t wear pants.
The mature version of “The Muppets” will cover a range of topics from sex to drugs. Miss Piggy came out as a pro-choice feminist during an MSNBC interview. The puppet characters loved by kids in the 1970s and 1980s and beyond are now weighing in on abortion and promiscuity.
ABC hopes children watch the show and predict they would enjoy some of the humor, but 1MM would disagree. It is not the show it once was. ABC has ruined “The Muppets.” How many parents want to explain the punchline of sexually charged jokes to young children?
Many parents unknowingly will let their children watch an episode only to find out its perverted nature too late, unless they are alerted ahead of time. 1MM and others need to get the word out to families to avoid this program at all costs. Please forward this to everyone you know!
Meanwhile, parents will have to explain to confused children that the program they once were allowed to watch is no longer a nice show. This would have been completely unnecessary if ABC had made the program follow its original family-friendly design.
Please use the information we have provided to contact ABC (owned by Disney) and strongly encourage the network to drop all plans to air the program.
Do kids and tweens of today even care about the Muppets? I was under the impression that the new Muppets show was mostly for us oldies who watched them as kids? I bet many of the kids of those One Million Moms didn’t even want to watch it. They were too busy huffing freon from the air conditioning unit in the backyard before looking up ISIS beheading videos on the iPhone they stole from a woman’s purse on the bus.