Amy Poehler And Nick Kroll Broke Up

September 23, 2015 / Posted by:

I guess this week’s theme is, “Hos You Forgot Were Dating Until It Was Announced That They’re No Longer Dating.”

Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll (the billionaire’s son from Kroll Show and the dude from The League who didn’t lie about almost dying in 9/11) were smashing their fuck parts together for 2 years, but they’re not anymore. A source tells UsWeekly that Amy and the butcher and bearded Chris Kattan just couldn’t make it work, because she’s so busy and he’s so busy and they couldn’t find the time to be busy together.

“Unfortunately, they just couldn’t make the relationship work with their schedules,” says one insider close to the Parks and Recreation actress, 44, and the Kroll Show star, 37.

Upcoming projects constantly came between Kroll and the mom of two (she shares Archie, 6, and Abel, 5, with ex-husband Will Arnett). “They really tried, but it just wasn’t realistic anymore,” adds the source. “They were spending more time apart than together.”

Whenever Hollywood types break up, some source usually burps out some generic crap about how they had to dump their relationship into the gutter because they were just never ever together. Er, I thought that not seeing each other’s faces for long periods of time was one of the keys to a long-lasting happy relationship. Doesn’t absence makes the heart and genitals grow fonder? You know, after not seeing each other for weeks, they’d go into a room together, get naked, hump for a while, light up a joint, say a total of 16 words about what they’ve been up to and get dressed before going back to their oh-so-fucking busy schedules. That seems like the perfect relationship to me! I’m guessing that the real reason they broke up is because the Hammaconda is on the loose now and Amy wants a huge piece of that. Now that’s a good reason to dump a trick.

Pic: Splash

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