When Jon Hamm’s acceptance was over last night, I wondered if he Hilary Swank’d it by not thanking his now ex-piece Jennifer Westfeldt. My ears didn’t hear the words, “Thank you, Jennifer Westfeldt,” but then again, I really wasn’t listening since all of my focus was on trying to spot any sign of the Hammaconda. (I always focus on the highly important things.) Jon Hamm did thank his partner/mother figure of 18 years…right after he thanked their dog first.
Jon finally got his hands around an Emmy trophy last night after being nominated 8 times for Best Actor in a Drama Series for Mad Men (and a million other times for other things). Jon should’ve celebrated victory at last by using the Hammaconda to pole vault onto that stage. But I guess his body’s energy bars were empty from THAT HEAT, because he slid his body onto the stage.
The piece of the stage that Jon rubbed his sweaty bulge across was later taken apart, wrapped in protective plastic and named the Shroud of the Hammaconda. It will be auctioned off to the highest bidder who will no doubt hump it every chance they get.
Jon’s speech was a little Don Draper-esque, because he seemed like he had a touch of the sads. Jon thanked all of the people and families who took him in throughout the years and that included Cora the Dog and Jen, his ex-partner.
Some people thought it was an asshole move of Jon to thank his dog friend before thanking Jennifer, but well, at least Jennifer got a thank you! Jon did the Hammaconda wrong by not thanking it and he also snubbed The Big Date, the fabulous 90s dating show that started it all for him! And on Twitter last night, some people were saying that Christina Hendricks didn’t look amused during Jon’s speech. Well, either she was pissed that she didn’t win or she was trying not to pass out from that 500-pound metal-studded casing suffocating her magnificent chichis.
And here’s more of Christina Hendricks, Jon Hamm, Elisabeth Moss and blond icicle January Jones who I’m guessing had a frozen stick up her culito which kept her from melting into a puddle in THAT HEAT!