If you’re wondering why the dogs in your neighborhood are currently howling at the top of their lungs, it’s because they’re reacting to the high-pitched dog whistle squeal Pimp Mama Kris let out after she discovered that her most legit earner might be fucking a real celebrity.
So back in July it was reported that toddler-faced model enthusiast Orlando Bloom got the hots for Kendall Jenner after they met at a party. Well, two months later, The Sun (via Daily Mail) says that 38 year old Orlando and 19 year old Kendall have been secretly dating since they met. A source claims Orlando and Kendall have gone on a bunch of dates over the summer, one of which was sushi followed by a drive (ooooh, how exciting). The source says:
“The age difference doesn’t seem to bother them although it’s far too early for either to tell if it’s going to develop into something serious.”
“Excuse me? Being a teenager who dates an older dude with a kid is MY thing” hissed Kylie Jenner.
Of course this isn’t the first time Orlando Bloom has gone for a chick who can’t legally rent a car. About a year ago, Orlando was maybe revenge fucking one of the former members of Kendall’s friend club, Selena Gomez. So that’s…something.
Since this information comes from The Sun, there’s like a 99.99999% chance it was a wish that came from PMK’s vision board. But in the event they are actually dating each other, well – good luck with that, you two. Kendall, try not to make a grossed out face every time Orlando asks what Snapchat is. Orlando, don’t stare directly into the eyes of the firey red guy with horns who is always over at Kendall’s mom’s house.
Here’s Kendall pimping out perfume for Estée Lauder on Friday. You know a jealous Kim Kardashian is totally thinking “Estée Lauder? Hmm, never heard of them. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go back to hustling pills on Instagram.”