Allison Williams Got Married Yesterday

September 20, 2015 / Posted by:

You know that right before the reception, Allison Williams’ daddy Brian Williams was like “Honey, please tell me there isn’t going to be a garter toss. I really can’t handle watching anything else of yours get tossed.

So Peter Pan made it legal with her rich-ass internet boyfriend yesterday. According to Page Six, Brian Williams’ kid and College Humor co-founder Ricky Van Veen, a dude who totally sounds like the 13-year-old villain in a direct-to-DVD Air Bud movie, got married in a fancy secret wedding at a Wyoming ranch. Apparently they wanted to keep it ~so~ secret, so they had all their guests fly to Denver, where they were driven three hours into the middle of horsie country. After they got hitched, Allison threw up a picture of her and Ricky looking like Wedding Day Midge & Allen dolls on Instagram.

They also had a fancy-ass guests list too. Page Six says that Allison and Ricky’s wedding was officiated by Tom Hanks and Ricky’s BFF John Mayer performed. This would be where I’d normally make a “Dear bridesmaids who banged John Mayer under the cake table last night: you’re going to need some cream for that rash” joke. But John’s ex Katy Perry was also there, and you know what happens when you get drunk at a wedding with your ex (ie. you fuck under the cake table).

Other guests included all the Girls girls (Lena Dunham, Jemima Kirke, Zosia Mamet), Anna Wintour’s kid, Rita Wilson, and Andy Cohen. But I’m sure if you ask Brian Williams, the guest list included Jesus, Santa, all 44 Presidents of the United States, Forrest Gump (okay, that one is technically true), Jiff the Pom, and the Honey Nut Cheerios bee.

Pic: Instagram

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