Open Post: Hosted By Mimi Doing The Most Physical Activity She’s Done In Her Entire Life

The makers of Game of War apparently paid Mimi’s chichis 7 figures to replace Kate Upton’s chichis in their ads, and it looks like they made her work hard for that money. They may have gotten her to do something I didn’t think was possible in this world. They may have gotten her to run for a second. I thought I’d see a real-life unicorn or Michelle Duggar go-go dancing on a Planned Parenthood float in the Suffrage Parade before I saw Mimi running in the year 2015.

The Butterfly Unicornie Hello Kitty Rainbow Empress is in the commercial for a quick second and she spits out some lines before running off into the distance. Rich at Gawker made a GIF of this miraculous event:

HAHAHAHAHA. That waddle. And I thought I looked like a constipated penguin with an egg between its legs when I ran. But really, I’m guessing that one of three things is happening here:

1. They CGI’d Mimi’s face onto the face of a body double who knew that if Mimi were to run, she would run like she doesn’t know how to run. It wouldn’t surprise me if her run was made with CGI, because it looks like they also used that Promise of a New Day stretching tool on her body.

2. Mimi is sitting on the shoulders of a little person who is doing the running.

3. An assistant screamed, “Sanrio is having a sale over here!”, off camera, which made her ass run like she’s never run before.

I’m going to go with either 1 or 2, because if she actually did her own running, her publicist would have announced that she has canceled all of her scheduled events for the rest of the year, because she’s checked into a spa in Malibu to be treated for extreme exhaustion.