Afternoon Crumbs

September 14, 2015 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan dribbled out a rambling rant about 9/11, Michael Jackson, PETA, TMZ, Oprah, the #UnitedNations and I don’t even know what else on Instagram. It is the bad shit-induced essay that launched a thousand WTFs. It reads like a monologue from True Detective. That’s how confusing it is – IDLYITW

Ellen Page’s girlfriend is giving me “mash-up of Kim Gordon and Cate Blanchett”Lainey Gossip 

Bravo ‘s three-part Real Housewives of New Jersey prison special starring the Giudices is incomplete without clear shots of her looking like a wreck in prison – Reality Tea 

CAUTION: Do not make the same mistake I made by eating while scrolling down to the picture of the pedo salamander known as Tyga smiling while next to his plastic child piece. Your food will end up on the desk in front of you and your stomach will hate you – Celebitchy

Burning Man looks like hell on earth and not even Susan Sarandon done up like a bride on LSD could make me change my mind about that  – Drunken Stepfather

Subway got a serious complaint about Subway Jared’s pedo ways a long time ago – The Superficial 

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp are still posing for photographers at film festivals. Johnny Depp looks happy about it – Popoholic

This little girl is scared of her shadow and now that she’s pointed it out, she’s right. Shadows are pretty scary – The Berry

Kim Davis has everyone’s dream job. She’s getting paid a good chunk of money to sit in her office and watch Netflix and porn all day – Towleroad

In THIS BITCH news: Matt Damon cut off a black filmmaker to school her on diversity in films – Jezebel

And here’s a candidate for the title of Most Perfect Dog in the World – Hollywood Tuna 

Panty Creamer of the Day: Alex Petmyfur gets almost naked for Mario TestinoJust Jared

Chris Hardwick is getting married to Lydia Hearst. Remember when he was dating Jacinda from The Real World: London? – Pajiba

Disney is making a sequel to Mary Poppins and the only thing I have to say about that is: Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey, chim chim cher-WHYYYYYYYYYY? – The Hollywood Reporter

Watching Peaches suck off Margaret Cho’s knit dick is just what I needed on this Monday – OMG Blog

Justin Bieber will have Gwen Stefani’s exact hairstyle in 3..2.. – Popsugar

Speaking of, Daniel Day-Lewis’ 20-year-old son looks like a butch Justin BieberBoy Culture

Pic: Instagram

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