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September 13, 2015 / Posted by:

Aldi’s CoUNTry GaRDen crackers!

Aldi (aka Trader Joe’s step daddy) is a German-based budget grocery store that’s about to kill the supermarket game in the US (cut to the evil overlords of Walmart cackling into the sky as they whip their minions who are building their 4,596,986th superstore) and they recently killed the innocence of children with their English cunt crackers (which sounds like the most charming slur ever). Someone at Aldi must’ve decided that Aldi needed some quick internet attention and we all know that the easiest way to get that is with the c-word.

The Daily Telegraph says that some cunt-eyed shoppers noticed the strange way Aldi capitalized the letters “c-u-n-t” in “country” and pointed it out on their Facebook page. Aldi responded by saying that their EngLiSH CoUNTry crackers were replaced last month and the packages that are on shelves now are just old boxes of stale EngLiSH CoUNTry crackers that haven’t been replaced yet.

“Our crackers have been available in completely new packaging since 6th August and only a limited number of these old packs remain in-store.”

Does a homicidal maniac or an edgy stoner child work in Aldi’s packaging department, because only The Joker and Jaden Smith mIsUSe cApiTal LetteRs LiKE tHAT. I used to think that nothing good comes from random capitalization, but I was wrong, because these EnglLiSH CoUNTry crackers came from it. And Aldi didn’t say this in their statement, but they replaced their EngLiSH CoUNTry GaRDen crackers with their all-new clASSic ArtisaNAL biscuits.

(For J)

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