Jessica Simpson’s Marriage To Nick Lachey Was Her Biggest Money Mistake

September 11, 2015 / Posted by:

Jessica Simpson is still doing the media rounds to promote the 10th anniversary of being the luckiest bitch alive because she’s become mega rich from pointing at a pair of shoes in a line-up of samples while saying, “Purdy! Make those!” Jessica did an interview with CNBC’s Kelly Evans about her billion dollar business, her brand and decisions she’s made with her money. Jessica mostly just said that she has great people around her who have helped her build her fashion empire and have invested her millions of dollars well. When Kelly asked her what are some mistakes she’s made with her money, she paused for a second while the stoned hamster who runs her brain pulled his ass off of the sofa to jump on the wheel. Once he started running, Jessica said her first marriage was her biggest financial oops.

Kelly: What are some of the biggest money mistakes you’ve made, whether personally or with the business, that have helped you grow?

Jessica: The biggest money mistakes…. Hmmmm… I don’t know. For some reason I thought of my first marriage!

Kelly: That’s actually a common answer believe it or not.

Maybe TMZ got it wrong in 2006 and Nick Lachey stuffed a whole lot of cash between his juicy man pecs in the divorce. Because at the time, TMZ said that Nick agreed to take a smaller cut of their assets, because he didn’t want to deal with an ugly court fight. Jessica refused to sign a prenup when they got married, so under California law, their assets were to be divided up 50/50. But shady and greedy Papa Joe reportedly figured that Nick wouldn’t want to go through a messy court battle, so Papa Joe offered him $1.5 million to go away. Nick shat on that offer and they eventually agreed on a number. Nick apparently got more than $1.5 million but a lot less than 50% of their $36 million fortune. So if that report is right, then Jessica didn’t do so bad in the divorce. Besides, without that marriage and Newlyweds, she might not have her billion dollar brand and would be co-headlining a residency at a casino resort in Laughlin, NV with an Ace of Base cover band (actually, that sounds like a pretty glamorous gig). And Nick Lachey deserved EVERYTHING for suffering through that alleged game of grab ass with Papa Joe.

And here’s Jessica catching flies in NYC yesterday.

Pics: Splash

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