Beyonce Is Speaking Now (Kind Of)

September 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Beyonce hasn’t answered a direct question in more than a year and when her royal Beyhive-ness was on the cover of the September issue of Vogue, she didn’t give them an interview. Some think that Beyonce is keeping her mouth shut to reporters, because she doesn’t want to ruin the illusion of Beyonce. Beyonce is the Mona Lisa of the music world. And if the Mona Lisa could speak, she may ruin her gloriousness by saying that Nickelback is her favorite band and she feels like she’s being ass raped whenever all those tourists take her picture. So Beyonce is letting her ART speak for itself, thankyouverymuch.

But Beyonce did recently say words, sort of, to Flaunt Magazine. Beyonce played a spontaneous word-association game for them. And by “spontaneous,” I mean that a group of writers tirelessly worked for 3 days on it, a team of publicists analyzed it and it went through 4 focus groups before Flaunt was allowed to publish it. The word cloud is in the gallery, but here’s a few of her answers:

Talent – Dependable
Palm Trees – Sangria w/extra fruit
Beach – Is Better!
Historical – Michael
Iconic – Overused
Polluted – Social Media
Competition – Middle Finger :p

Please, this is what it would look like if Beyonce played for real:

Talent – Beyonce
Palm Trees – Not As Great As Beyonce
Beach – Irrelevant, Because It’s Not Beyonce
Historical – Beyonce
Iconic – Beyonce
Polluted – The Heads Of Beyonce Haters
Competition – What’s That?


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