For months, Sam Smith shook his head no to the rumors that he’s going to croon out the theme song for the next James Bond movie Spectre. But every time Sam Smith spit out a denial, we all threw him an eye-roll and a “trick, shut up” the same way one does when Meryl Streep says, “Oh, I don’t think I’m going to be nominated for an Oscar AGAIN this year.” Just like Adele, Sam Smith was born to sing a Bond song. I mean that literally, because I’m sure that 23 years ago, scientists hired by the producers of the Bond movies used the DNA of George Michael and the DNA of Boy George to create a super James Bond theme song crooner who was named Samuel Frederick Smith.
The BBC says that the theme song for Spectre is called “Writing’s On The Wall” and Sam co-wrote it with Jimmy Napes who worked with him on “Stay With Me” and “Lay Me Down.” In an interview with Radio 1, the gayslut-shaming former fatty claimed it took them only 20 minutes to write the song and he recorded it back in January. Sam also called “Writing’s On The Wall” a “classic love song.” It comes out later this month, so if you’ve been invited to a wedding in October and beyond, expect to see the married couple dance to that song because every newly married couple on the planet is going to dance to that shit at their wedding.
Reuters says that Sam Smith is the first British dude in 50 years to yodel out a Bond theme song. The last one to do it was legendary man slut Sir Tom Jones who sang the song for Thunderball in 1965. Say goodbye to your panties, because watching vintage Tom Jones in action will force you to pull them off and throw them at the screen.
It goes without typing, but I am really disappointed in the Bond producers for not giving the job to current HSOTM finalist Glorianna Galicia who gave us the greatest Bond song that never was a Bond song. And I’ll be even more disappointed if Sam Smith’s “Writing’s On The Wall” isn’t a big mash-up of Destiny’s Child second album.
Here’s Sam Smith in London a couple of days ago wearing the bomber jacket we all wore in the 90s with Docs.